Puppy Love
by Violet Eliot
Summary: Jacob and Leah; Do two broken hearts make a whole? Or does a relationship built on pain end similarly? And where does Embry Call fit into all of this? Read to find out more.
1. Unexpected

**Hey Readers! The following story is set during Breaking Dawn. Obviously all the characters are copyrighted by Stephenie Meyer.**

Leah

In my mind, mirrors weren't created so that you could just see your reflection.

No, in my mind they were instruments of torture.

Mirrors never lied. It was almost as though they magnified every single flaw on your entire body, so that you could stand there for hours scrutinising yourself and wishing that you were _that _beautiful girl, the "it" girl –the blonde, slightly tanned, blue eyed beauty with a big bust.

As I stood in the mirror today I seemed to look especially unattractive. I had just phased back into human form from last night and I had heavy, dark circles under my eyes.

My short, black hair was disgusting and oily. My nose wasn't the right shape to match my lips. My eyes slanted slightly upwards and were a dull shade of brown.

My eyes wandered down past my neck and my chest, which looked like more of a man's chest. In fact my whole body looked like a man's body – too big and bulky, not to mention my unusual height. And when was the last time I had actually shaved my legs?

Yuck. I was a mess.

How was I supposed to imprint on a guy without scaring him away with my appearance first? Was I _ever_ going to imprint? Since when did girl werewolves imprint? More importantly, since when were girl werewolves meant to exist?

I sighed. Those were the questions I asked myself everyday. And I knew the answer to all three – I was a freak. Yes, I was a freak of nature.

Not only was I girl and a werewolf, I was also _menopausal. _Yes, menopausal in my twenties. And until I stopped phasing I would continue to be a genetic dud.

I decided that I'd had enough scrutinising for today. I walked towards my chest of drawers in my bedroom.

From one of the drawers I yanked out a summer dress, which was the easiest thing to change into after phasing and slipped it on. I quickly brushed my hair, well what was left of it and looked in the mirror again.

I didn't look as hideous as I did before but there was no way that I looked at all pretty. I looked _plain_. I shuddered at the word.

I crept past my mother, Sue's room without waking her and walked towards the back door of our small house.

Once I had made it outside I could finally relax. It was risky of me to visit my house at the moment, considering the current situation.

My mother probably isn't too pleased with me at the moment for ditching Sam's pack and running away to Jacob's pack.

But it's not like that had been my _own _choice. I couldn't let my little brother run off to Jacob by himself. I feel like I have a responsibility to take care of Seth, being his big sister and all.

Well, the truth is I did mostly agree with Jacob on the whole half-breed newborn issue. It seemed quite irrational to kill Bella since she was the one we were meant to be protecting from those bloodsucking leeches, who unfortunately my brother has befriended recently.

But seriously, it is quite disturbing to think how that half-sucker was conceived. It must be hard for Jake to think about that leech inside Bella. I shivered at the thought. Honestly, that was just sick. What kind of vampire took pleasure in doing _that_ with a human?

Once I had run into the forest that surrounded La Push I took off my dress behind some trees and tied it to my ankle with some string, as Jacob did with his clothes.

Then, I let the heat from the centre of my body take over me. The next thing I knew I was a giant, grey wolf.

I sprinted towards the forest near the bloodsuckers' house, where I would find Jacob.

Immediately his thoughts filled my mind. _Hey, Where have _you _been? Seth and I have been waiting for ages. _Oh great, he was pissed off.

_Yeah, yeah. Keep your fur on._ I replied._ I kind of needed a girl moment…_

_Umm, okay I don't exactly need to know about all your girl stuff, Leah. _I sighed in my head. He was exactly like the boys in the other pack. They all ran away screaming when I mentioned or thought about anything feminine whatsoever._ The point is we were going to run the border again today, just to check whether Sam's pack are edging any closer towards the Cullens'. And Leah I'm sure you wouldn't be too pleased if Seth and I started talking about when guys…_

_Fine! Fine! _I retorted. _I'll keep it to myself. So where are we headed today?_

_Well, _Jacob thought in his Alpha voice. _Seth will check the southern area around the border and you and I will head north. We'll meet back here in about an hour and a half._

_Sounds good. _Seth thought. I knew Seth enjoyed accomplishing things on his own with out being taken care of by his over protective sister. But sometimes I couldn't help myself.

Seth and Jacob and I all ran off in our different directions. It was quiet at first. Jacob and I were both concentrating on our mission.

_Hey, are you okay? _Jacob asked out of the blue.

_Yeah, you know. Same as usual._ I replied.

_Oh, you just seem a little… depressed or something. Which is kind of weird for you._

_Yeah, because _you_ are always the only one with problems around here, right?_

_That's rich coming from the most selfish person I've ever met._

I scoffed in my head and retorted, _Well, at least I'm actually attempting to get over Sam. You just can't seem to get enough of that leech lover. _

_Her _name_ is Bella._

_Yeah, whatever. But seriously Jake, you know she will never feel the way you feel about her. Build a bridge and get over it._

_Wow, for once I thought you were going to be nice._

I laughed silently and said, _Ha. Where did you get that idea from?_

_God knows. I really am an idiot, aren't I?_

_I never said you weren't._

_Haha. Very funny._

There was silence for the rest of the way. Finally we made it back to the forest near the Cullens' house.

That took less time than I imagine, Jacob thought. I'm just going to go and phase. I'll be right back.

_Oh come on Jake, _I protested. _I've seen you naked before. You don't have to be so secretive about it._

_Uh, okay then. _He sounded quite unsure, but as if I cared? It's not like I feel anything for him.

I tried looking away but curiosity ruled me for a moment.

Now that I thought about it, Jacob didn't look half bad. Quite a nice chest, well defined too. My eyes accidentally wandered further down than I should have. Oops, he caught me.

"Leah! Would you mind?" Jacob shouted at me while yanking on his jeans.

I whimpered and hung my head in mock shame. All of a sudden the heat in my body contained itself and next thing I knew I had changed too.

I suddenly remembered my nakedness and reached down to grab my dress from my ankle. I also realised that Jacob wasn't exactly containing his eyes from wandering.

"Now who's ogling?" I accused as I slipped my dress on.

"I wasn't _ogling,_" he replied defensively.

"Whatever," I said. "Not that I have anything to ogle at anyway."

"Leah," Jacob moaned. "Don't be so hard on yourself."

"But it's true," I protested. "I'm ugly."

"No you're not!" he suddenly retorted sounding shocked at what I had said. He cleared his throat and said more quietly, "You're… not bad."

"Gee, thanks," I said sarcastically.

"You know that's not what I mean," he said annoyed. "You are sort of… beautiful, I guess. In a way." He was blushing now.

"Oh, er thanks?" I said but it sounded like more of a question.

"Don't mention it," he said looking away.

"But it's not true," I added.

"Okay, now you're fishing for compliments," he said as he started walking towards the opening outside the house.

"No," I replied. "Why would you say things just to make me feel better anyway?"

"I don't know," he grumbled. "Maybe because I sort of like you, Leah. You're not as annoying as I thought you were."

"Is that a compliment?" I asked with a smile appearing on my face.

"It depends whether you want to take it as one," Jacob replied mirroring my smile.

"I might as well take as many as I can get," I said with a sigh. Insulting each other was the way Jacob and I bonded. Of course we both knew we meant everything we said half-jokingly.

But for some reason I was letting his half-hearted comments get to me.

Next thing I knew I had tears welling up in my eyes. One accidentally escaped and Jacob spotted it.

"Oh, Leah don't cry," Jacob's voice soft and gentle now. He stopped walking and turned to face me. "You know I was only joking." Then he said in a composed voice, "But seriously, I really do like you Leah."

Unexpectedly, he stroked my cheek with his big, warm hand once, wiping away the tear.

He stared at me with much intensity. I didn't realise before how close his face was to mine. He leaned in a little further, covering the distance between us…

Suddenly a piercing screamed sounded from the Cullens' home.


	2. Actions

Jacob

For some reason, I felt like I was actually seeing Leah for the first time. All of a sudden all the sarcasm on her face had disappeared. I realised that short hair actually suited her. Her face had a really nice bone structure, almost _elegant_. Her skin was a soft olive colour. But most of all, I was drawn to her chocolate brown coloured eyes that lay under neath her long, dark lashes.

Her lips were pink and full and laid out right in front of me, just waiting to be met by mine.

I leaned into her so that my mouth was only an inch away from hers. I didn't have to lean down very far since she was almost my height.

I heard a shrill sound coming from the Cullen's house.

I stared into Leah's eyes a second longer than I should have, hesitating. Eventually I straightened up and quickly turned my head towards the house.

"Go, Jacob," Leah said solemnly. "Just go." She forced a weak smile.

"Thanks," I said still hesitating. Why wasn't I racing towards the house straight away like I should have? It was obviously Bella's voice that made that ear-piercing scream.

I started running towards the house but then stopped and turned around. I wasn't sure why I did this but I turned around and said to Leah, "I'll be back really soon, okay?"

Then I continued towards the house. I peeked in through the backdoor and saw Bella lying on the couch, clutching her stomach in pain.

Without thinking, I let myself in and immediately saw Edward, who was sitting beside Bella, along with Blondie – or _Rosalie_ as they called her.

"Hey Jacob!" Bella cried in a raspy voice. "I'm so glad you're here!"

Maybe it would be easier to get over my unrequited love for Bella if her face didn't light up when she saw me. From her reaction, it seemed like she thought flowers grew on the earth I stepped on. Why was she so damn happy to see me when she was married for crying out loud?

"Hey Bella," I said warily. "What happened?" I asked Edward in a more serious tone.

"The baby is becoming stronger," Edward replied, worried. "Her stomach is slightly too small and the baby kicked. Carlisle thinks it could have broken one of her ribs."

I noticed that Carlisle was also leaning over Bella with bandages, wrapping up the wound around her stomach. "Just taking precautions," Carlisle said gently.

"No," I said. "I agree, go ahead." Carlisle nodded with a serious expression on her face.

No matter how many doctors were taking care of Bella, I still felt pain – her pain. But Bella still kept a hopeful expression painted on her face. Of course she wouldn't care if the _thing _broke all her bones. She was still going through with the birth – if you could call it that.

I tried reasoning with her but she seems to think that Edward will "save" her if the birth doesn't go too well. And by "save" she means Edward biting her therefore turning her into a creature that feasts on the living by drinking their blood. I wondered if the medication Carlisle was giving her was messing with her head.

Edward growled. I could tell that he was reading my mind. Again. Stupid know it all.

_Get outta my head! _I mentally shouted at him.

So okay, the Cullens actually weren't like other vampires, considering their animal-based diet and all. But still, Bella just wouldn't be Bella anymore. Not the clumsy, silly, beautiful _human _girl I was deeply in love with. Maybe that wouldn't be such a bad thing if she became one of them. Perhaps it would help me finally get over her, just a little. Or maybe I was that desperate that I would take her, leech or no leech.

"Hey Edward," Bella said in a croaky voice. "Feel my stomach. He's kicking but not so hard this time. It's like he's trying to tell me something." Bella gazed at her stomach as if it was the most precious thing in the world. It seemed like she actually loved that monster.

Edward placed his hand on her bandaged stomach. "Oh, how amazing," Edward said in awe. "What a clever baby… Oh. Oh my." Edward's expression changed to shock.

"What is it?" Bella asked.

"I can hear it," Edward said astounded. "I can hear its thoughts. It's thinking about you." He stared at her with so much love it was painful to watch. Bella sighed and stared at him all gooey-eyed. It was worse than a romantic movie. Except I wasn't nauseated, I was in pain. The longer their gaze remained locked with each other's the greater the pain became. I would have done anything for Bella to look at me that way…

"No!" Edward cried suddenly with an edge to his voice. "Jacob! Please get out of here!" He said the words with sympathy not rudeness. As if he was trying to extinguish the fire exploding in my chest, rather than rejecting me. Of course he must have seen my thoughts, the agony.

He handed me a set of car keys, with his finger clutching one in particular. "Please, feel free to use it. Anything to get you away from this," he said gesturing towards Bella who was blissfully unaware of our conversation.

It was so tempting to take the keys, but another place came into mind, actually more like another person.

"Oh, I understand," Edward, said seeing my thoughts. "Go to her. She needs you." Edward said the last part under his breath obviously not wanting Bella to overhear.

Without another word I raced out the back door and sprinted towards the edge of the forest.

There I found Leah, still in human form, sitting on a rock and staring into the river that cut through middle of the trees. A few metres away Seth was curled up in wolf form asleep.

"I told him he could sleep, if that's okay with you," Leah said dully.

"Sure," I replied trying to sound casual. "The kid was probably dead on his feet, anyway." I walked over to her and sat down on the rock next to her.

There was a long silence that was filled by the sound of the flowing river.

Leah broke the silence. "So what was wrong with her?"

"We don't have to talk about it," I offered.

"No," Leah replied with a weak smile like the one before. "I'm curious."

"It is growing fast," I said with bitterness in my voice. "It broke one of her ribs! The stupid thing is sucking the life out of her Leah! She's dying!" I realised I was shouting. I then said more quietly, "Sorry." I didn't really have anything else to say.

Then unexpectedly Leah stared yelling too. "You know what really annoys me?" she asked rhetorically while standing up. "The way that leech lover in there thinks that she can do whatever she damn well wants! She thinks she can go and get knocked up by a vampire and then let the thing grow inside her, while everyone, including you, has to sit there and watch her die! Does she have any idea how much pain she is putting you though? It's almost unbearable to watch!" Leah was pacing the ground with tears welling up in her eyes.

She stopped pacing and stared at me with a look that said a thousand emotions. "She doesn't know how lucky she is," Leah said in a low voice.

I stood up and walked over to her, unable to find the words to respond with.

Suddenly the phrase "actions speak louder than words" jumped into my head.

With that thought I grabbed her face steadily with my hands. I then placed my lips on hers with more strength than I had meant to.

Leah kissed me back just as strongly, not holding anything back. Her kiss felt… refreshing. I needed this and so did she. I could kiss her without worrying about hurting her because she was just as strong as I was.

Gradually I forced her mouth open with mine but she was all too willing. The touch of her warm tongue sent a tingle through my body.

I felt her hands grab my waist and bring herself closer to me. Then she ran her hands up my back and pulled my hair from the roots as a sign of passion.

I let my hands wander around her body, starting with her back then bringing them to her chest. I figured that she enjoyed that a lot since she kissed me with even more enthusiasm.

Next thing I knew I was lying on top of her in the grass, still passionately making out. The only other sound I could here, apart from her panting, was her brother snoring on the grass. Lucky Seth was a deep sleeper.

I finally pulled my mouth away from hers.

I lay on the ground and Leah curled up next to me. Thank god that Seth was still snoozing in the trees about ten metres away.

I ran my fingers through her hair being absent minded. She looked up at me with a longing expression in her welcoming eyes.

"Jacob," was all she managed to say before her mouth was on mine again. Then we rolled around the grass for a while, engrossed in a heated make-out session.


	3. Clear As Water

Leah

The way he kissed me was like nothing I've ever felt before. It was so different to the way Sam did. There was so much more passion. It felt right. _We_ felt right, together.

Jacob kissed my neck and my chest and sent me into spirals of dizziness. And as his lips met mine they felt so warm. His hot breath in my mouth made my legs feel like jelly.

The next thing I knew my hands were wandering past Jacob's well-defined chest, past his waist and tugging at his jeans. I wasn't in control of my actions and I wasn't sure how far we would take this.

I started pulling down his jeans very carefully when I heard a shuffling and a wolf whimpering several metres away. Seth!

Suddenly Seth had changed back into human form and was half-dressed. "Umm, excuse me!" Seth shrieked in a half-shocked, half-disgusted voice. "Jacob! Get off my sister!"

Jacob swiftly buttoned up his jeans again and stood up looking sheepish. I stood up beside him, mirroring his expression.

"What the hell do you think you guys were doing?" Seth cried still disgusted. "Actually, no. Don't answer that! I don't think I want to know!"

"Err," Jacob began. "Sorry Seth. You seemed pretty deeply asleep."

"Pfft, whatever," Seth retorted waving his hand. "Just please, spare me the horror and don't let it happen again, especially while I'm within a ten metre distance. I mean, come on, Jake! She's my _sister_! My sister! Just imagine me and Rachel!"

Jacob shuddered beside me.

"Yeah, gross huh?" Seth asked rhetorically.

There was an awkward silence. Then Seth started to head back to the Cullens' house.

"I'm heading off to see the Cullens for a while if that's okay with you guys. You probably want me out of your hair anyway," Seth said with great sarcasm. "See you guys later."

"Bye Seth," we both murmured.

There was more awkward silence once Seth had left.

"Umm, Leah," Jacob broke the silence. "I was wondering… after what just happened… are we still… just friends?"

I turned to face his serious stare. "Well," I said gingerly. "I don't know about you but, I think we were never just friends… if you know what I mean."

"I thought you might say that," Jacob said thoughtfully. "And the truth is, I feel the same."

Relief flooded through me at his words. "Oh," was all I could say.

A minute passed before I spoke again. "But… what I don't understand is, how can you _like _me? Don't you think I'm this annoying, whiny bitch who's only good for looking at with no clothes on, like the rest of Sam's pack does?"

"Leah, nobody in the pack thinks like that," Jacob said as his grabbed my hands. "I've seen you with no clothes on, and that's nothing compared to your amazing personality that was understandably hidden by a mask of pain. I understand your pain. I can _empathise_. And underneath all that stuff, your beauty is as clear as ever."

"I love you, Jacob," I blurted out the words without thinking.

Jacob's reaction was surprise. "You know, I think I love you too." He smiled his classic Jacob smile.

His lips met mine again and my reaction was none the less ecstatic. I kissed him back with much eagerness.

We collapsed to the ground, still kissing, which felt too passionate to be legal. A new thought popped into my head. The only thing stopping us from being truly connected was our clothes.

I tugged at Jacob's pants the way I had before except this time I succeeded.

Jacob stopped kissing me for a moment and slipped the dress I was wearing over my head.

The feeling of our bare bodies touching was better than I imagined. It was so intimate.

And with just one movement of his body, we were finally connected in the most wonderful way possible. The feeling of our bodies moving in synchronisation was indescribable and very unfamiliar. But also _very_ satisfying…

Finally Jacob pulled away and lay down next to me. He wrapped his big, warm arms around me and I nuzzled into his bare chest. I wanted to lie in his arms forever, never disturbing this perfect moment, where all our problems seemed to have dissolved into thin air…

But I suddenly remembered where I was – lying in the middle of the forest, naked.

I sat up and slipped my dress on and Jacob followed my lead by yanking on his pants.

But shortly after, I resumed my place in his arms.

My eyes felt unusually heavy. I tried to fight against them, to remain conscious for this superlative moment…I lost.

When I opened my eyes again I realised it was dark. It wasn't middle of the night dark, more like early morning dark. I sat up slowly feeling very disorientated and groggy.

It took me a while to realise that my unusually comfortable pillow was actually a wolf. Jacob's russet, shaggy fur was instantly recognisable.

Everything came rushing back to me. The intense act of passion Jacob and I had taken part in, the immense pleasure… I felt light-headed just thinking about it.

Who would have thought…Jacob Black? If somebody had mentioned him in this way to me a few months ago I would have laughed in their face. But now, what I felt towards him was so much stronger than a mere pack companion. I was in love with him, and there was no denying it.

Now I think about it, maybe I had felt this way the whole time just as I had said before. Maybe there were always sparks there, waiting to happen. But I just hadn't given them a chance before because I was still grieving, if you could call it that, over Sam.

In many ways we were perfect for each other. The ones we loved rejected us both, we were both outsiders, misunderstood and we shared the same pain. No. We didn't just share the pain, but in a way, halved it. So that life was bearable. We kind of…healed each other.

I watched Jacob snored in his wolf form and for some reason he looked very cute.

I decided it would be a lot easier for me to sleep if I was in wolf form too.

So I let the heat flood through me, a familiar heat that was no longer scary. The next minute I had four legs and fur.

I curled up beside Jacob, closed my eyes and let all of life's problems disappear for now.


	4. First Sight

**Hey guys! Thanks for all the feedback, keep it coming. Here's the next chapter...**

Jacob

I wasn't sure whether the images in my head were real or just one of my many fantasies.

If in fact, it was a dream, it wasn't like my usual dreams. Sure, there was all the passionate making out and everything. But the significant difference was that the person that usually starred in these dreams wasn't there. Instead of Bella lying in my arms and sighing my name, it was Leah.

At first this surprised me a lot. I mean, _Leah? _Please! Who would have seen that one coming?

I'm not saying that it didn't feel good, or that she wasn't a turn on or anything. Because it's not like she's nothing to look at. But still..._Leah?_

The images kept flashing up in my head, replaying over and over again. The images were of me kissing her gently at first, then even stronger, ripping off her dress...

When I woke up I realised I was lying in the middle of the forest in wolf form and I wasn't alone. I felt something heavy on my stomach. I turned my head sideways and saw a long grey wolf lying diagonally across my torso.

So the fantasies weren't actually mine. They were Leah's... or maybe a combination of both.

She looked really peaceful as she slept and I really didn't want to wake her. But God, she was heavy! No offence to her or anything.

As carefully as I could I slid myself from underneath her then stood up on all fours.

I decided now would be a good time to go and find Seth. He was probably still at the Cullens, maybe even having breakfast.

I phased into my human form and yanked on my jeans. I turned to look at Leah and as I looked at her everything came rushing back to me.

I realised the dreams weren't just fantasies, they were memories of last night. I felt a wave of nausea wash over me as I thought of how far we had taken it. Not to mention a little turned on.

No, this wasn't good! If I was still thinking about the things me and Leah did last night Edward would read my mind. What if he told Bella? What would she think? Would she love me anymore? Would I want her to? What if Edward already knew everything? Oh shit. He did. We were within hearing distance for Edward to overhear my thoughts... He already knew.

That stupid bloodsucker! Why couldn't he just butt out once in a while? At least give me some privacy in my own head!

And if he told Bella...

The thought of it made my blood boil. I knew what her reaction would be. She would feel used, heart broken, like I didn't love her anymore, which is pretty unfair considering she already has a husband - cringe - anyway. Why can't she stop loving me? It would be so much easier for me to control the pain if she didn't act like an excited child opening some cool, new present on Christmas Day every stinking time she looked at my face.

I ran up to the house and burst through the door, not bothering to knock.

"Where's Bella?" I asked Carlisle who was the first one I spotted in the room.

"She's upstairs, Jacob," he said warily. "Err, a lot has happened since you were here last time. Would you like to sit down?" He offered a chair at the dining table.

I sat down in one movement and asked him again, "What happened, Doc?"

"Well," Carlisle said with a heavy sigh. "To put it simply, the baby is out."

I felt my jaw drop open in shock, disgust, worry, sadness, eagerness... every emotion possible.

"Yes, it happened yesterday night. Would you like to hear the full story, including the necessary details?" Carlisle asked politely.

I nodded still in emotional limbo.

"Very well then," Carlisle began. "Last night while she was drinking her daily dose of blood, as I am sure you were aware of, she accidentally knocked over the cup and the blood spilt everywhere. The baby must have sensed the smell and it wanted to get out, of her stomach that is. Bella started twitching in agony and let out an ear piercing scream while vomiting up all the blood. It was obvious that the time had come.

"So Edward and I brought her upstairs to my office which is also a surgery and broke the skin around her stomach, removing the baby from her body. Edward tried very hard to keep her heart pumping, but it was too late. Her heart stopped for almost a minute. That's when Edward used the venom was used to save her life. She is in the process of changing and I am not trying to sound rude, but I think now is definitely not the best time to see her."

I just sat there and stared at him for a long time letting everything sink in.

What used to be my worst nightmare was now a huge relief to me right now. So he had changed her. She would look different, feel different and maybe even sound different. But no matter what she is at least alive (somehow) and will always be Bella.

That was the only thing keeping me sane. The only thing that was stopping me from stomping upstairs right now and ripping out Edward's throat.

"Where is it?" I asked Carlisle. He knew what I meant.

"_She_ is in the next room with Rosalie," he replied in his gentle voice.

"Thankyou Carlisle, for filling me in on the , er, details as well," I said trying to sound calm.

"Well somebody had to," Carlisle said with a weak smile.

I hesitantly walked into the living room and saw the blonde vampire sitting on the couch.

Blondie's head was tilted down and she was humming at the thing that she held in her arms. The way she was looking at it, it was as if it was her child. So I was right the whole time. Blondie just wanted to be a Mommy after all, she didn't care about Bella's life. The thought made me grind my teeth.

I walked around the front of the couch. I suppose it wouldn't hurt to take one look at the thing.

Then I saw her.


	5. Goodbyes

**Hey readers! Okay so we have the impression that Jacob does imprint on Renesmee still…. But please! Don't shoot! Haha, just kidding. But please keep reading because it's ****not**** all gloom and doom for Leah! Something really good comes out of this for Leah. I won't spoil it though. Thanks for the feedback and keep those reviews coming. **

Leah

The sun beating down on my eyelids woke me up from the most amazing dream.

I dreamt about Jacob. Which is strange because usually my dreams are about Sam.

But I suppose the dreams were an after effect of what Jacob and I did…I blushed at the thought of it.

Sure, it wasn't the first time I had done that with a boy, but it was still amazing. Jacob was amazing.

I rolled over to see an empty patch of grass where I last saw him.

Of course I immediately knew where he was – at the _Cullens'_. Probably trying to drag Seth away from his new best friends.

I phased, slipped on my dress and ran to the porch of the vamps' house. Yuck, I could already smell their sickly sweet stench from twenty metres away.

I noticed that last night Jacob smelled very faintly of bloodsucker. Why did he have to spend every stinking minute with the vampire lover anyway? It was like he was addicted to her in some sick way.

I raced up the stairs of the balcony and looked in through the window and I immediately spotted him leaning over the couch, but I couldn't make out the figure sitting there next to him. I assumed it was the leech lover, also known as Bella.

The look on his face, something was different. It wasn't his usual brooding expression. He was… happy? Since when was Jacob happy? He looked like he had opened his eyes for the very first time, like a blind man seeing the sun for the first…

No. It was _the_ look.

It was same look Sam gave Emily the first time he saw her. It was the same glance that shattered me on the inside several months ago.

No, no, no. NO! He did not! But how is that possible? How could he imprint on the leech lover after all the time he's spent with her? Impossible…

"May I help you?" a deep, but strangely angelic voice came from behind me.

I turned around to see who it was… but I had no words to describe him.

He was magnificent in everyway. He had blonde, sandy-coloured hair that was cropped in a shaggy cut. His eyes were a startling topaz colour. His skin was pale white. The sweater that he wore shaped his muscly body. But his smile… was the most amazing thing I had ever laid my eyes on.

"I think you just did," I managed to say without passing out.

He laughed a husky, deep laugh that made me feel dizzy. "Aah, you must be Leah. Jacob has told me a little about you but I don't think we have formally met." He knew my name! "My name is Carlisle, Edward's step-father."

The last part of his sentence gave up my hopes completely, but I couldn't deny how amazingly good-looking he was. He looked far too young to be a father. He must have been about twenty at the most.

As I shook his hand I realised he wore a wedding ring. Dammit! That lucky woman, who ever she is.

For a vampire, he seemed incredibly human. His mannerisms were just like a human's were.

"Would you like to come in?" he asked in his voice that made me melt where I stood.

"Sure," I gasped.

I stepped inside and immediately a brown haired woman with the same pearl-white skin introduced herself, "Hello, I'm Esme, Edward's step-mother. You must be Leah. It's great to finally meet you! It's unfortunate that it's on such dramatic events though. Carlisle and I appreciate what you did for us immensely. We know how hard it is to separate yourself from the pack. Thankyou so much!"

Instantly, I loved her. She was warm and welcoming and I could understand how Carlisle could marry such a kind woman. Not to mention that she looked like a pale-skinned version of Mischa Barton. Why were the bloodsuckers so kind and good-looking?

"Yeah," I said still dazed by their beauty. "Umm, I just wanted to see Jacob." I could already see him through the archway in the lounge room.

"Certainly, he's in the sitting room," Esme pointed out.

"Thanks," I said as I walked into the room. Jacob didn't even notice my presence. He was still staring at the couch. I turned my head and saw Rosalie sitting there with a bundle of towels in her arms. Rosalie? I thought he hated Blondie the most?

Then I realised what, or should I say who was wrapped in the towels. It was the half-sucker – Bella's baby.

To say the truth, she was beautiful. She had gorgeous curls and warm, brown eyes and a very cute smile.

But how could he? On a baby? A fricking baby for crying out loud! Did he have any dignity?

"Jacob," I said but he didn't hear me. "Jacob? Jacob! Hello?" I waved my hand in front of his face and finally he broke out of his trance.

"Oh, hey Leah," he said still dazed. All of a sudden his facial expression changed. "Leah! Leah, I need to talk to you! Let's go outside for a second." Then he turned to the blonde vamp sitting on the couch and said, "Be careful with her okay?" in a voice of authority.

"Yeah, yeah. Go and play with your little girlfriend, pup," she retorted bitterly.

"Hey! Shut it Malibu Barbie! Try not to eat Renesmee while we're gone okay?" Jacob said scathingly.

The blonde shot him the look of death while Jacob and I headed out of the lounge room and then out on to the porch.

He stopped walking and then looked at me in a serious way.

"Who the hell is Renesmee?" I asked him bitterly.

"She's Bella's daughter," he told me matter-of-a-factly. "Look, I can explain."

I folded my arms and glared at him, waiting for his weak explanation.

"Okay, so Bella is now… one of them. At first I was pretty shocked and horrified and everything. But then I saw Renesmee and it was like, I was finally alive. Like, nothing else mattered anymore. Home, school, the pack, Bella, the pain… it all disappeared. I saw her face and suddenly, I was alive and –"

"Oh my god!" I interrupted him. "I cannot believe you!"

His expression changed to startled.

"Yeah, okay I get it," I continued. "You saw her face and now you've seen the light! Hallelujah!" I waved my arms up in the air mockingly.

"I am so sick of this! First it was Sam and now you as well! Why does this always happen to me? Am I cursed or something? Maybe I should start a dating service for werewolves! 'Sleep with Leah and get a free imprint!'" I realised I was shouting and tears were streaming down my face, but I didn't care anymore. "Well, you know what? I'm done with this Jacob! I'm done with you and Sam and the stupid beautiful bloodsuckers that you're in love with! I'm done, Jacob!"

"Wait! Leah!" I heard Jacob shout as he ran after me.

I stormed off into the forest, sobbing big, heavy sobs that made my whole body shake.

I stopped pacing unable to go on, fell to the ground and let it all out.

I cried for the pain that Sam caused, the love that Jacob gave me, the heartbreak that he now caused.

Suddenly I felt a big, warm arm across my back and a large, warm hand stroking my hair.

"Leah, I was about to get to the part where I say that I am the biggest jerk on the planet. I can never apologise enough for all the pain I'm causing you now," Jacob's husky voice sounded in my ear. "I know how you feel, Leah. I've felt that way too. It's horrible. I'm so sorry. I understand if you never forgive me."

I turned around and hugged him as tightly as I possibly could, crying on his bare chest.

"I don't know whether this will help, but I still love you Leah," Jacob said shakily. "Maybe it's not head-over-heals-in-love, but I still do. It's not right for me to love you and it will just probably cause you more pain, but I think you deserve to know the truth. That's the least I can do right?"

We just sat there for a while and I buried my face in his chest, not saying a word as my sobs filled the silence.

Eventually the tears stopped for a while and I attempted to speak. "Jacob?" I asked tentatively.

"Yes, honey?" he replied.

"I still love you too," I said trying to fight the tears. "Which is why I can't be with you anymore. I have to go, Jacob. I've been through all this with Sam. Playing the pitiful ex-girlfriend, if you could call me that, who you can't get away from. I don't think I could handle it for a second time. It's what's best for everyone. Besides, you know the saying; Two's company and three's a crowd." I stood up and Jacob copied me, standing less than an inch away from me.

He took his face in my hands and kissed me strongly, almost painfully. I kissed him back as strong as ever, knowing that it might be the last time I could see him.

Finally to my disappointment he broke away and said, "Don't go."

"I have to Jake," I said with a lump in my throat. "It will be easier for everyone."

"Where will you go anyway?" Jacob asked.

"Anywhere but here," I replied. "I thought I might do a Jacob and run off as a wolf." My attempt at humour didn't work on him.

"Don't go, please?" Jacob pleaded.

"Bye Jake," I said before I kissed him quickly one last time. "Take care of Seth for me."

I managed to get one last look at his yearning face before I ran off into the forest at a fast pace.

Trees were flying past me, turning into a green and brown blur. I ran faster and faster, leaving my life behind me.

The tears took over once again, making it hard for me to run in this form.

I could feel the anger, the heat just dying to take over my body.

I was about to phase, until I heard a voice from behind me.

"Leah! Stop running!" It was a male voice that definitely wasn't Jacob's even though it sounded familiar. "You're too fast!" His voice was kind of mellow even though he was shouting.

I stopped and turned around to see who it was.

I saw a boy, actually more like a man, running at me at full speed. Fairly tall, short black hair, slightly tanned skin. It looked like one of the members in Sam's pack.

As he came closer I recognised his childish face with an expression of determination painted across it.

He slowed down to a jog and stopped about a metre away from me, still panting.

"Leah," was all he managed to say in between his heavy breaths.

It was Embry.


	6. Realisation

**A/N: Hey readers! For this chapter the narrator is still Leah, just so you know. Thanks again for the reviews. Feel free to comment on anything that I'm missing in the story or if there's something you don't understand or basically any constructive feedback. Oh and feel free to leave positive feedback too. So here's the next chapter… read and review!**

Leah

Embry stood in front of me. Embry, of all people! I was having a very bizarre day today.

"Leah," Embry tried speaking again once he caught his breath. "What on earth are you doing? Where are you going?" He shot me a confused, and possibly even worried glance. Since when was Embry worried about me?

"You know, I was just about to ask the same thing–"

"Uh-uh. I asked you first," Embry interrupted. "Whoa, Leah you look really upset. What happened to you?"

I sighed. "It's a long story." That was definitely true.

"I have time," Embry offered willingly. Except I wasn't sure his answer was sincere. Shouldn't he be running errands for Sam? This caused another question to come to mind.

"Hey," I started, feeling like a bit of an idiot for accusing Embry of something that was so unlike him. "Are you spying on me or something? Like, acting as a double agent so you can go and give Sam updates?" Now I felt like a total idiot.

Surprisingly Embry coughed a laugh. "No, that's not the case at all. Look, I'll explain later. But first answer _my_ question." Embry then sat down on a conveniently placed log and patted a vacant spot next to him.

Because I was slightly preoccupied before (understatement), I hadn't noticed that it had started raining quite heavily. Embry's unevenly cropped hair was stuck to his face in some parts and sticking up in strange directions. Combining that and his innocent yet curious facial expression, literally made him look like a helpless puppy.

"Please?" Embry begged just to top of the puppy dog act. How could I resist?

"Fine," I mockingly groaned as I sat next to him. "But why the hell would you want to sit here and listen to me whine about all my problems? Aren't you sick of me like everyone else is? Won't I bore you to death?"

"Leah, I didn't come all this way, crossing the border and everything, so I could ignore you." This made me wonder even more why he was here. "Come on, I'm interested." He made a face that was supposed to be convincingly interested. I didn't see the point in arguing with him.

"Well," I started off, wondering if I would be able to recap all the recent events without breaking down into tears half way through. "To put it simply, I practically messed myself up over Jacob." It felt very strange admitting this to someone else when I hadn't even really admitted it to myself. I felt especially weird confessing this to a _boy_. But it was also a relief to get everything of my chest. And funnily enough, Embry seemed really easy to talk to. He appeared to be listening intently.

I continued. "I fell for him, hard. But I couldn't resist his kindness and companionship. He was there for me when I needed someone." Suddenly Embry seemed uncomfortable when I told him the last part. "Anyway, I'll spare you the details, but one action led to another and well… you can guess what happened."

Blood rose to my cheeks as I spoke. Embry's expression changed from uncomfortable to what appeared to be angry. I couldn't make myself believe the thoughts that sounded in my head at that moment. Was Embry _jealous_ that I slept with Jacob? _No._ I answered my own question silently. There's no way that's possible. I must have been imagining things.

"So the next day I woke up and Jacob was gone. I knew where he was, with the leech lover – of course. I went to the vampires' house which was where I found him…" Tears welled up in my eyes as I continued. Hopefully Embry would mistake my tears for raindrops.

"He was staring at _her_ – Bella's daughter," I spoke with acid in my voice. "He stared the same way Sam stared at Emily." I dropped my gaze to the ground; I was unable to go on.

Immediately Embry understood. "I'm so sorry, Leah," was all he said as he wrapped his arm around my shoulder, comforting me. But his tone carried no hint of surprise.

"You already know," I stated as a fact, not a question.

"Yeah," Embry clarified dismally. "Carlisle ran Billy to tell Sam, which brings me to the reason Quil and I are here." Quil crossed the border too? "Well, actually that's only one of the reasons I came." He smiled at me, indicating the other reason. "So now that the half-vampire is Jacob's imprint, the conflict ends. One of the most absolute laws of all pack laws is that no wolf should ever kill another's imprint, as I'm sure you are aware of." Embry explained to me in a formal manner.

To be honest, I had actually completely forgotten about this because of the other issues that had been playing my mind, e.g. Jacob…

"And Sam sent Quil and I across the border to arrange a meeting with Jacob's pack and Sam's, to officially end the fight. However the treaty is as strong as ever, for both packs."

I sat in silence for a while, letting all the information sink in. "Wow," was all I could say.

"Leah," Embry began in a gentle tone. "I know this must be hard for you. Jacob really should have known better for hurting you this way, just as Sam did." Embry's words stung me on the inside, as he spoke in a sudden vicious tone. His voice returned to mellow as he continued. "But this is an amazing opportunity for the pack – I mean packs. It gives us a chance to start over again and put all the conflict behind us; a fresh start."

I considered this idea for a moment. Sure this agreement sounded pretty cushy for everyone – except me. Sam had Emily, Jacob had the half-vampire, and the vampires and the pack could live happily in harmony. Everything wrapped up very nicely like a sickeningly sweet ending for a fairy tale. But where was my happy ending? I already knew the answer.

"And then the bitter, old, twisted Leah comes into the picture and ruins everything, causing everybody to be miserable again." I finished for Embry. "Where do I fit into all this Embry? I see no reason to hang around here anymore…"

I shrugged Embry's arm off and slowly stood up. Embry followed me. "What do you mean 'no reason to hang around?" he questioned. "There's all the reason to stay! Like I said, a fresh start – for everyone, including you Leah. Finally, the vampires and the pack are at peace – hopefully – and it's only a matter of years before the Cullens' move away from Forks and La Push all together. You can't leave now, just as things are looking hopeful." His attempt at persuading me was starting to work on me. Truthfully, the soon-to-be situation did seem okay, I guess. But then the voices in my head yelling _"Sam!"_ and _"Jacob!"_ made me reconsider.

"But," I argued. "I just can't see myself anywhere in this perfect vision, Embry. Nobody wants me here anyway." My own words burnt me on the inside like a hot iron.

"Don't be ridiculous, Leah," Embry tried reasoning. "Think about your brother. And your Mom. I think _they _would appreciate it if you stayed. Come on, Lee. Stay for them." Then he clasped my hands with his. "For me?"

He had the puppy dog look working on me again. But I still didn't understand why Embry wanted me to stay. I didn't even know why he bothered. As if he actually liked me. Yeah, right! As if anyone ever really liked me…

"Please?" Again with the begging. And yet again, how could I resist his puppy dog eyes.

Now that I was staring at Embry, I realised a very distinct feature about his face. His eyes were a striking, electric blue, unlike the rest of the Quileute boys who were brown eyed. Oddly, I had only noticed this now. At the same time as noticing how childish his face appeared to be, how contagious his youthful smile was and how muscly his bare chest looked at that moment. Not to mention how cute he looked with wet hair.

But his blue eyes were still the key feature that really caught my attention. I couldn't manage to drag my gaze away from them…

"Embry!" Quil shouted as he appeared from a shadow among some trees, breaking my stare. "Come on, let's go down to the meeting!" He seemed excited. "Don't change though. We're discussing this in human form because we have the head vamp joining us. The human-like one." Quil then moved his excited expression to meet my confused face. "Oh, hey Leah," he greeted me dully, like I was some accessory.

"Hi Quil," I replied with a sigh.

"Okay, let's go," Embry replied to Quil. "Where's Jacob?"

"He's dragging Seth away from the Cullens' kitchen. Apparently him and some guy named Edward are BFF's or some crap." Quil laughed in disgust. "The kid's spending so much time with those vamps he might actually turn into one."

"Not funny, Quil," Embry stated. Then he turned to me. "So you coming, Leah?"

I just stood there looking at him apologetically as he gazed at me, with a pleading expression. I sighed in defeat. "Fine."

The three of us made our way down to the invisible line, that was supposedly the end of vampire territory, which cut through a field in the forest.

As we walked Embry smiled at me in admiration. "Thanks for changing your mind Leah. You're not half-bad, you know that?" Embry asked jokingly.

"Right back atcha, Embry."

I felt at ease as I walked through the forest along side Embry. He was one of those people who didn't feel the need to fill silence with mindless chatter. He didn't feel the need to insult me at every moment he could. That was nice.

But as my gaze met Sam's once we arrived at the clearing, all of the ease drained out of my system. He was standing between Jared and Paul, with Collin and Brady behind them. They were all in human form.

However, for some unknown and completely weird reason, the fire in my heart that usually blazed every time I saw Sam died down. Sure, it was uncomfortable looking at him, maybe even awkward. But the pain wasn't nearly as excruciating as it had been in the past.

As I stood across from him, facing his degrading stare, I didn't feel weak. I didn't feel like the pitiful ex girlfriend anymore. I felt strong. I was glad to be free of Sam. I felt _relief_.

So at that phenomenal moment, I couldn't help but think, _Was I finally over Sam?_

**So what did you think? Was the ending of this chapter too strange? Will post next chapter as soon as possible. Reviews please :)**


	7. Amendments

Jacob

_I am a jerk, I am a jerk, I am a big, stupid jerk._

The words kept cycling my mind like a dripping tap I couldn't turn off. Of course I deserved it. I was a jerk. In fact, Paul seemed like a genuine guy compared to myself at that moment. And that really meant a lot.

_Jacob Black, you are a jerk. _

Every time I thought of Leah's crushed face, the voice screamed at me louder. I honestly hated myself more than Blondie at that moment. I hated myself more than any bloodsucker.

When I remembered the tears that had welled up in Leah's eyes, tears of heartbreak, my stomach convulsed in guilt.

As I walked towards the Cullens' house, the guilt was becoming more unbearable than it already was. Poor Nessie, she would feel guilty too. Even at her young age she was bright enough to read people's emotions and then communicate with her only vampire gift – showing you her thoughts by placing her hand to your face.

_Why are you such a jerk, Jacob?_

I made my way through the Cullens' house, heading straight towards the kitchen without stopping in the lounge room. If I stopped and saw Nessie I wouldn't be able to leave.

"Seth!" I called out as I entered the kitchen. I found Seth stuffing his face with food.

"Hi Jacob," he said with a mouth full of eggs. "You're an awesome cook!" he complemented Esme, who was hovering over a stove.

"Seth, we've got to meet Sam's pack down at the edge of the border. We're officially ending the fight." I informed Seth. I turned to Esme and asked, "Where's Carlisle?"

"He's upstairs still watching Bella, with Edward." Esme replied.

I suddenly remembered, Bella was still in the process of changing from human to vampire. This didn't bother me so much anymore. As much as I loved Bella, it wasn't in a romantic way anymore. Those feelings diminished when I laid eyes on Nessie. Or maybe I had recovered from Bella before that without even knowing, when I was with Leah…

I brought myself back to the present moment. "Thanks Esme," I replied and she smiled a "your welcome" smile. "Come on Seth." Seth shoved the remains of eggs from his plate into his mouth and followed me upstairs to Carlisle's doctor's office.

I saw Bella lying on the hospital bed. Her skin was sallow and pale. She lay so still that she could have been dead. _She's not dead, she's not dead. _I kept reminding myself.

"Jacob, Seth, I don't think you two should be in here at the moment," Carlisle greeted us as he ushered us outside. I caught one glance of Edward, sitting beside Bella with a look of pain and hope on his face. I kind of felt sorry for him.

Carlisle shut the door and asked us, "How can I help you?"

I explained to him how we are meeting Sam and how it's appropriate to have at least one vampire to witness the truce.

"Thankyou for inviting me, it's probably best just to have a witness from outside of the packs," Carlisle replied in his calm manner.

"Okay, I think we should head down," I suggested.

We left the house through the back door, so that I wouldn't have to see Nessie, and hold everyone up.

There would be plenty of time to see her later.

As we made our way down to the clearing where we were meeting Sam the voices in my head returned.

_Jerk, jerk, jerk. _

At this moment Leah was probably making her escape, leaving everyone who cared about her behind – her family. Poor Seth. How was I going to tell him?

Oh yeah, umm I kind broke your sister's heart and she ran away. Oops, sorry about that Seth.

I groaned at the thought.

As I looked at Seth now he seemed so happy and full of excitement, as usual. The only time I had seen him worried was when Sam was ordering the pack to kill Bella by supposedly "protecting the town".

We finally made it to the field.

The first person I saw was Sam and by his sides were Jared and Paul, and behind him were Collin and Brady. They were all standing on the opposite side of the field.

I turned to look at our side of the clearing and I spotted Quil, Embry and to my relief, I saw Leah.

So Leah hadn't run away. Usually if Leah made up her mind about something, there was no going back. So why was she still here? I was the only one who could have forced her to stay, but I didn't want to force her to be unhappy.

When I saw her, she looked like she was concentrating on something. I realised she was staring at Sam.

Now I felt like even more of a jerk. Not only did she have to deal with seeing Sam, therefore remembering the heartbreak. Now it would feel the same as she looked at me. Thanks to my carelessness, I had caused her more heartbreak.

Way to go Jacob!

"Hey Jake!" Quil's voice broke my train of thought. "It's good to see you man!" And with that Quil came up to me and half-hugged me.

Then Embry came up and greeted me quite similarly. It was kind of nice to see my friends again, even after all that has happened.

I turned to look at Leah again and she seemed to be deep in thought still. I thought that now would definitely not be the best time to talk to her, in front of all the guys. We could talk later. But now I had to push all other thoughts aside as I practised my role as Alpha.

"Jacob," Sam greeted me as he walked across the clearing. "I received your message from Billy." I remembered that Carlisle had rung my dad to tell Sam about my imprinting. "Is it true that your imprint is now the half-vampire?"

"Yes," I replied seriously. "It's true. And we have Carlisle here to confirm this."

Carlisle nodded in response.

Sam thought about this for a while and then stated, "Well, since it is against pack laws to destroy another's imprint, the fight is most definitely over. However the treaty still stands for both packs."

"If you don't mind I think I need to intercede at this point," Carlisle interrupted politely.

"Go ahead," Sam allowed.

"Considering the treaty is still in tact, there is the issue of how we have a newborn on our hands. During the birth of the half-vampire Bella was almost dying. There was no way she could have survived the birth as a human. So Edward technically didn't bite Bella, but he injected his venom into her body, therefore saving her life. So I wanted to inquire about whether this breaches the treaty."

Sam stood in silence and thought about this deeply for a long while. Then he spoke sternly, "Since you technically didn't bite her and the venom did save her life, my pack has no reason to attack any vampires. But if Bella does bite any human in her newborn stage, that changes things."

"Of course, we will not allow that to happen," Carlisle replied calmly. "We will make sure that Bella maintains the same diet as the rest of my family, which I'm sure you know is animal blood."

I noticed that Paul and Jared shuddered when Carlisle said this.

"Then I see no reason to keep fighting." Sam stated. Then he walked over and shook my hand declaring the conflict over. "But I suppose now that there are two Alphas, there must be two packs. I don't think this will be able to change."

Then Embry interrupted, "Err, Quil and I would like to add something!" He nudged Quil's arm.

"Oh yeah!" Quil said. "Err, Embry and I, if it's okay with you Sam, would like to join Jake's pack. No hard feelings Sam, but we're kind of pretty close to Jake and everything…"

Paul snickered beside Sam.

"That's not what I meant!" Quil defended himself. "It's just that Embry, Jake and I used to be, like, best friends and everything, so… yeah."

Sam then replied with less of a serious tone, "Well, I guess that's okay with me. As long as Jacob can put up with two more voices in his head."

I looked at Quil and Embry's eager faces and thought _Why not?_

"Umm," I started. "Sure, I don't see why not."

"Alright!" Quil exclaimed, giving Embry a high-five and then me. "It's the three amigos re-united!"

I rolled my eyes at Quil's childishness. Among all this chaos, I had almost forgotten about Leah who was still standing a few metres away, not saying a word.

"Okay, well," Sam interrupted Quil's merriment. "Since everything's all sorted out, everyone is invited to me and Emily's place later this afternoon to celebrate."

"Awesome!" Quil and Seth yelled together.

Sam, Paul, Jared, Collin and Brady then started walking into the trees, back to the reservation. Embry and Quil followed them. "See you later, Alpha Jake!" Quil yelled as he walked away.

"See you Quil, Embry," I replied, quietly laughing at Quil.

Then Seth appeared in front of me and said, "Oh, umm Jacob? Do you mind if Leah and I head back home for a while? I suppose it wouldn't hurt to see my mom after everything that's happened. Even if Billy has probably already told her everything since she's _always_ spending time with him. But yeah, is that okay?"

"Yeah, sure," I replied, feeling weird for giving Seth my permission. I guess it was just something I would get used to, being Alpha and all.

As my eyes met Leah's she dropped her gaze. The guilt returned as I looked at her.

Seth said goodbye and Leah followed him out of the clearing.

It was so tempting to run after Leah and start grovelling on my hands and knees. But I thought it would just cause a scene and embarrassment for both of us.

"Jacob?" Carlisle asked from behind me interrupted my train of thought. "You coming?"

"Yeah," I replied dully as I turned around, heading towards the Cullens' house.

Suddenly I remembered that I would soon be able to see Nessie. Poor Nessie. I hated how much I loved her. I hated it how no matter how hard I tried, I couldn't be mad at Nessie. I loved her too much. And it was because of her that I now caused Leah so much pain.

As I was walking towards the house, the dripping returned in my head.

_Jerk, jerk, jerk…_

**Thanks for reading! Is that how Jacob would think after what happened? Does everything sound right? If I'm missing anything please tell me. Reviews?? Please??**


	8. From Bad to Beta

**A/N: Hey everyone, thanks for reading guys and thanks for the reviews! PLEASE keep reviewing! I need to know if I'm doing this right or if there's something I need to work on or change or whatever. So yes here's the next chapter. Oh yeah and do you think the title for this chapter is lame? If you have any other names I could call it please review :) **

Leah 

_Why didn't I just stay home? Why am I even here?_

These two questions circled in my head and were followed by the obvious answer, _Oh right, because I'm an idiot. _

So as a consequence of my being an idiot, I sat on a flimsy, foldout chair in Emily's backyard, watching a bunch of stupid boys try to work a grill. The smell of the meat made me feel nauseated. Even though I hadn't even eaten as a human in days, I was far from hungry.

Earlier I was considering staying home and actually sleeping, seeing as I was pretty tired. But then I probably wouldn't have been able to sleep. When I had arrived home of course Billy and Charlie were there. It really bugged me how my mom has started seeing other men so soon after my dad died. I find it really disrespectful actually. Did she even love my dad at all? Once I arrived home and finished enduring a lecture from my mother, I had taken a shower and actually put on a full outfit of clothes. It felt weird putting on clothes after all that time running around as a wolf. So after tossing up the idea of moping around at home or moping around Emily's, I didn't really see any difference so I left the house with Seth.

"Hey Paul! Wanna see me eat an entire steak in one bite?" Jared asked Paul moronically.

"Betcha I can eat two!" Paul challenged him.

I rolled my eyes as I watched them stuff their faces with meat. Poor Emily wouldn't have any food left after tonight.

But I suppose everyone seemed to be enjoying themselves. Jared and Paul stood by the grill along with their imprints Kim and Rachel, Jacob's sister. I really did pity Jacob since Paul is his soon to be brother-in-law. And then there was Embry, Seth and Quil who had Claire sitting on his lap. Finally there was Sam who was chatting to Collin and Brady, the youngest of the Quileute boys. But as I looked across at Sam now, I waited for that pain to return. I waited for the longing and the aching to pierce my heart as it used to. And for some reason it didn't. I had noticed this in the clearing before and was quite shocked. I had questioned myself, _Was I over Sam? _I still wasn't sure about the answer, but something had definitely changed in the Sam department for sure.

So everyone was happily chatting and socialising while I sat here looking miserable and alone, as usual. Emily was inside in the kitchen washing up some dishes. I considered helping her but that would involve me having to make conversation, which was something I definitely didn't feel like doing. I knew that the conversation would eventually lead to either Sam or Jacob, and I really didn't fell like explaining to Emily what happened between Jacob and I. Even though I've already told Embry, and strangely enough, the fact that he knows about it doesn't really bother me. He isn't the sort of person to go round gossiping about other people's misfortunes, unlike somebody…

I wonder if Embry has forgiven me for always bringing up the issues about his mom in the past. When I was in Sam's pack, because I was always miserable about Sam, losing my hair, being menopausal, my dad etc. I always brought up the fact that Embry's dad could also be Sam, Jacob or Quil's dad. Since none of them knew, it annoyed them immensely when I always thought about it in wolf form. But that's what I was like then. I wanted everyone to be miserable because I was. And now I really wish I could take it all back. I suppose Embry doesn't seem like the one to hold grudges. Why couldn't I be more like Embry?

I slumped forward in my chair and buried my face in my hands. I honestly don't know why I bothered coming to this stupid barbecue. Every one had somebody else, except me.

I decided that I'd had enough of looking like a hopeless reject so I went inside.

"Hey Emily?" I called as I walked past the kitchen.

Emily stopped washing the dishes and turned to face me. If a stranger had seen her they might have stared or gawked the three gashes across her face. By now I was used to it and so was everyone else, except Sam. Putting aside all the issues I have with Sam, I did kind of feel sorry for him. Every time he looked at Emily's face it caused him pain, knowing that he was the one who left those three scars there during a fit of rage. He phased while she was too close and as a result Emily was left with the three wounds. Apart from the scars, Emily was really quite pretty with her silky brown hair, freckles, long lashes and chocolate brown eyes.

"Oh hey Leah," she greeted me with a lopsided smile. "So you've finally outgrown those juvenile boys out there?"

I laughed a weak laughed. "Something like that. I'm just going to take a walk down to the beach, if that's okay."

"Sure, no problem," Emily replied, studying my expression. That was the problem with Emily; she was too perceptive of people's emotions. "Is everything okay Lee?"

"Yeah," I forced a smile. "I just need to clear my head, you know?"

"Okay," she replied, still deciding whether I was hiding something from her or not. "If you need to talk you know I'm always here, right?"

"Thanks Em," I said with a note of finality as I walked out the door.

I made my way down to First Beach and sat in the sand, as the sun was about to set.

I just sat there for a long time, letting my thoughts settle as I listened to the sound of the waves crash on the shore.

I wasn't alone for long though.

"Hey Leah," Jacob's husky voice greeted me warily as he sat down next to me on the sad.

"Hi," I replied dully.

"Emily said you would be here," Jacob informed me.

"Oh," was all I said.

It felt awkward with his presence. All the memories from last night kept flashing back to me as he sat beside me. How was I ever going to look at him without thinking of him in this way again?

"So, I know this is a stupid question, but how are you?" Jacob asked me.

"Could be better," I replied listlessly.

"Yeah, I wonder who's fault that is," he said with bitterness in his tone. "Listen, Leah I understand if you hate me. You have every reason to. I am the biggest jerk on the planet and I can't apologise enough for how I've hurt you. I'm so, so sorry." He looked at me expectantly, waiting for me to say something. I had no idea what to say.

I just sat in silence for a while, contemplating.

"You know what Jake?" I finally spoke, my voice shaky. "The problem is that I don't hate you. Not at all. As much as I should, I don't. The problem is that I still have feelings for you." The waterworks started to come on but I held them back. I promised myself that I wouldn't break down in front of him again. "I just… I just hate how I still love you."

Jacob wrapped one arm around me and sighed heavily, "Yeah, same here. I shouldn't love you either, but I still do." His words were followed by a long silence.

"Hey Jake, can I ask you something?" I finally broke the silence.

"Why not," he said monotonously.

"Do you… d-do you regret what happened between us?" It was becoming more difficult to fight the tears.

He then turned towards me with a look of horror. "Leah? How could you say that? Of course I don't regret it!" Then he said more quietly. "I just regret hurting you now."

"I don't regret it," I said quietly.

"Really?" Jacob seemed sincerely curious. "Why?"

"Because, this is going to sound weird but… when I looked at Sam in the clearing today, I didn't feel like I usually do. I didn't feel that heart-broken feeling that I usually do. Okay now this will sound strange but… I felt strong. I felt glad to be free of Sam and his thoughts. I don't know but I… I think I'm _over_ Sam." As I confessed this to Jacob, I also admitted it to myself.

"Wow," Jacob replied seeming shocked. "That's a first."

I laughed one hysterical laugh. "I know, right? And I think it's because… I let myself have feelings for someone else. I think I finally learned to let go."

Jacob seemed lost for words. "Oh," was all he said. "Is umm, is this a good thing?" he asked gingerly.

"Yes," I seemed surprised at my own answer. "I think it is."

More silence.

"So," I began unsure of how I was going to say what I was thinking. "Won't it be kind of awkward now? With me in your pack and everything? I mean, eventually the rest of the pack is bound to find out and I'm sure your not looking forward to a lifetime of taunting from Quil."

Jacob laughed half-heartedly. "Yeah, he'll get over it eventually. But at least you'll have something to tease him about."

"What's that?" I asked, confused.

"Your being Beta of course," Jacob said with a smile.

I was shocked. "Hold on, come again?"

"I'm making you my Beta," he clarified ever so casually.

My jaw dropped open in shock. Beta? Was he for real?

"Are you kidding me?" I asked still not understanding what he was implying.

"Would I joke about something so serious? Actually yeah I probably would. But really, I'm being one hundred per cent serious." He continued to beam at me.

"Why?" I asked, blinking at him.

"I couldn't think of a better person for the job," he said matter-of-a-factly and then laughed. "Get it? Better? Beta?"

I was still too surprised to make a remark about his lame joke. "Wow, umm, thank you?"

"Sure, sure," he replied casually. "And it's not like an apology or anything, even though it's the least I owe you. I really think you'd be good at Beta. You like bossing people around right?"

"Especially Quil," I said jokingly. And then, out of the blue, I started crying. I didn't know why I was crying, whether I was happy, sad, surprised, shocked or whatever!

"Thanks Jake, it really means a lot," I said, still blubbering.

"Hey, don't cry Leah!" Jacob exclaimed as he hugged me.

"Sorry," I said as I pulled away from him and wiped away the tears.

"It's okay, I just hate seeing you cry," Jacob said in an unusually gentle voice. I managed to smile at him.

We sat there in the sand for a while, not saying anything as I soaked up the information Jacob had told me. Wow, Beta! As sad as I was before, the thought of being Beta lifted my mood a little.

"Hey Leah?" Jacob suddenly asked.

"Yeah?"

"Okay, please don't take this the wrong way but...Do you… do you ever _want_ to imprint?" he asked carefully, knowing that my reaction might have been dramatic.

"I'm not sure," I said honestly. "I think I do, but it just doesn't seem possible for me. I don't think that there's somebody out there for me." I looked at the ground as I spoke.

Jacob stared out at the ocean, his black eyebrows creased into a concentrating frown.

Then he suddenly said, "I think he is out there Leah. I mean, how could there not be a lucky guy out there to fit your amazing personality?"

I coughed a laugh. "Well, that's very flattering but I doubt it."

"But I really think there is. Maybe if you just stop looking so hard for him, you'll finally see him."

"Wow, who knew that Jacob Black was so philosophical?" I said sarcastically.

"Haha," he replied. "But seriously Leah, I know that there's someone. In fact I can feel it coming." Then he turned to look at my confused expression. "I sound crazy don't I?"

"Slightly," I said jokingly.

"But it's weird, this imprinting thing has almost given me a sixth sense, like a different form of gravity. And if you follow that pull of gravity Leah, you'll finally find him."

"Okay, now you've lost me," I stated, confused.

"I know it's really weird, huh? But, just don't give up." Jacob said in a wisdom filled way. "Because he may be closer than you think."

Then Jacob wrapped his arm around me in a comforting way as I stared out at the ocean. The combination of Jacob's words and the striking yet somehow familiar blue color of the water, made me feel hopeful, like something good was finally coming my way.

**So what did you think? Is there anything you don't understand? Does everything sound right? PLEASE REVIEW! If you have any questions just review and I'll guarantee that I'll reply! Next chapter in the making so will update soon...**


	9. Window Shopping

**Hey readers, sorry I haven't updated in, like, years! A little exaggeration there... but yeah I've just been busy lately and had a bit of a writer's block, but not to fear! The next chapter is here! (Okay that was lame). R & R! (Read and Review...obviously). Enjoy...**

Leah 

It felt strange to be lying in my own bed, but also unusually comfortable. It was a pity that I couldn't sleep. I wasn't at all surprised though. After everything that happened, I couldn't manage to silence my erratic thoughts. The thoughts were bordering on the edge of dreams since I was only half-asleep. They were vivid fantasies of Jacob and me. First I imagined Jacob kissing me sweetly, then Jacob kissing me passionately, then Jacob taking off my clothes, the feeling of our bare bodies touching as I sighed his name.

Next came blurry visions of Jacob holding onto my arm tightly and eventually letting go with a pained expression on his face. Then his figure seemed to be moving further and further away until he faded into nothing.

I sat up in my bed, my heart racing from the thought that must have escalated into a dream. I quickly glanced around my small bedroom that was now bright with sunlight. I must have actually fallen asleep. I wiped my hand across my forehead, which was covered in sweat. _How did I get here?_ I thought to myself. Then I remembered about the barbecue that seemed like days ago. Shortly after that I remembered the conversation that I'd had with Jacob at First Beach. Next followed Jacob and I walking back to Emily's and then Seth and I walking home.

I suddenly remembered what Jacob and I had said to each other last time I had seen him. Our conversation seemed to have ended on an okay note, although I still wasn't exactly sure what our relationship was now. What he had said about imprinting suddenly came rushing back to me, _But it's weird, this imprinting thing has almost given me a sixth sense, like a different form of gravity. And if you follow that pull of gravity Leah, you'll finally find him. _

What the hell did he mean by that? As far as I knew gravity was the thing that stopped you from floating up into space and suffocating to death. So now there was a new kind of gravity? The only gravity I could feel at that moment was the one that pulled me to the ground. I sighed. I was never going to work out this imprinting thing. But then another thing Jacob said came back to me, _just don't give up. _

Jacob was right. I wasn't going to give up. I was sick of giving up! I wasn't going back to being that whiny bitch of the pack, especially now that I was Beta! I flinched from excitement at the word. No, I wasn't giving up. I was going to find my imprint. He _had_ to be out there somewhere and I was determined to find him.

I yanked my bed covers off me and jumped out of bed. I grabbed a towel from the linen cupboard and took a very long shower. During the shower I felt as though I was washing all the confused dreams away from my mind. Once I finished with the shower, I blow-dried my hair straight (what was left of it), something I _never_ do. I then raced back to my room and opened my old make-up drawer. I opened a bottle of mascara that I barely ever wore and flicked some on my eyelashes. I also applied some eyeliner, a little eyeshadow and a subtle shade of lip-gloss.

Once I was finished with the make-up I yanked bundle of clothes out of my drawers and flung them across the room, searching for something decent to wear. I finally found a three-quarter length, dark pink shirt with a low-cut and a pair of light blue, skinny jeans. I then opened my cupboard and rummaged through all the shoes I owned. I eventually found I nice pair of high-heeled sandals that I also hardly ever wore.

I hesitantly took a glance of myself in the full-length mirror of my room. For the first time in months I actually looked a little attractive! If only my hair would grow! Maybe I would let it grow, since Sam was no longer pressuring me to cut it. I'm sure Jacob wouldn't mind if I looked a little shaggy in wolf form.

I raced around my room, searching for the bag I usually took to day outings. Once I found the bag and my wallet, which surprisingly had fifty bucks in it, I dashed out of the house and climbed into my old, crappy car that my mother had bought for Seth and I to share, once he was old enough.

The car hummed to life and I sped out of the drive way and drove away. I wasn't exactly sure where I was going. Probably up to Port Angeles, somewhere with a lot of people, hopefully cute guys. Ugh, I sounded so shallow.

Once I arrived at Port Angeles, I parked my car on the side of the street and just started walking down a main road. As I walked, I studied every boy's face carefully. I tried to notice what hair colour they had, how well-defined their chest was, their eye colour - for some reason the ones with blue eyes caught my attention.

It wouldn't matter if I only even saw him for a second. One second is all that I needed. Each time I looked at a boy I noticed that their eyes sometimes lingered for longer than they should, even the ones with a girl's arm wrapped around them. One of them even winked at me and said, "Hey there!" It was fairly flattering and made me reconsider my lack of self-confidence. Maybe if I took the time to actually groom myself I might possibly be able to somehow fit the definition of pretty.

I searched through the faces and discovered quite a few good-looking guys. But no matter how good-looking they were, none of them were _him. _It felt pointless searching for something when you didn't even know what you were meant to be searching for.

Finally, I grew tired of trudging around the streets I stopped at a nearby cafe. I looked at the menu and realised I wasn't hungry. I would just order some coffee - that ought to keep me going through this wild goose chase.

"Hey! How may I help you miss?" a young, sandy-coloured haired boy with braces asked me. I assumed he was the waiter.

"Hey," I began dully, but I couldn't help smiling a little as I glanced up at his enthusiastic grin. "Can I just order a cappuccino?"

"Sure!" he said cheerfully as he scribbled down my order. "One cappuccino coming up!" And in no time he had rushed inside the kitchen.

About two minutes later he was in front of my table again. "One cappuccino," he stated as he placed the drink on the table.

"Thanks," I said forcing myself to appear friendly.

"Hey, umm," the boy began wearily. "Do you mind if I sit with you for a minute? It's time for my break anyway."

I was a little surprised, but didn't see the point in refusing. "Uh, sure."

He sat down, thrilled that I had said yes. I wondered how many other girls he had asked already. Maybe I was the first one not to reject him all day.

"So are you here all by yourself?" he asked curiously. "I mean, I would think that a pretty girl like yourself would have a boyfriend."

I almost double-taked at his words. "Uh, thankyou?" I said it as a question. "But no, sadly enough I am alone."

"Aww that's too bad," he said except I doubt that he meant it. "Umm, are you on, like, a shopping trip or something?"

"Well, kind of I suppose," I replied, thinking for a moment. "More like... window shopping I guess."

"Oh," the young boy flicked his shaggy hair out of his eyes. "I saw you looking around outside before. It seemed like you were looking for someone." I noticed that his face fell a little when he said this.

"Yeah, he didn't show," I said, disappointed.

"Oh, was he like your boyfriend or something?" he asked.

"I don't really know," I said thinking about this. "Well, it doesn't matter anymore anyway. He wasn't there."

"Oh," was all the boy said.

There was an awkward silence for a while. During that time I took the time to study the boy's features. He had fair skin with freckles and I noticed that he wore braces. I also noticed that he had blue eyes, which again seemed strangely familiar.

"Oh yeah!" the boy suddenly exclaimed. "I haven't introduced myself yet. My name's Cody by the way."

I laughed at his embarrassed expression. "That's good to know, I'm Leah, by the way."

Cody laughed. "So, are you doing anything later? Because my shift finishes soon and I was wondering if you wanted to go somewhere?"

I could tell where this was heading. He was going to ask me out, then maybe I would go on a second date with him and then maybe he could end up being my boyfriend and then one day I would break his heart by laying eyes on my imprint. I wish I could have said yes. But I knew it wouldn't be fair on Cody. I would just be leading him on. He seemed like a nice kid but he wasn't _him - _who ever_ he_ was meant to be.

I sighed and replied,"Sorry I kind of have to be heading home soon." Lie, lie, lie. "But thanks anyway."

Cody's face fell a little. "Oh, okay. Have a, umm, safe trip home, I guess."

"Thanks, Cody," I said as I rose from the table, leaving some money on the table. "It's nothing personal, I'm just not really dating at the moment."

He stood up and said, "Well, can I at least give you my number if you happen to change your mind?" His pleading face was hard to resist. Or maybe I was just a pushover.

"Sure," I said as Cody scribbled down his phone number on his ordering note pad.

He handed me the sheet of paper and said, "Bye, Leah. Maybe I'll hear from you soon." He then winked at me. _Don't hold your breath. _

I took the sheet of paper from him and said, "See you Cody," as I walked out the door.

Once I was a fair way away from the cafe I scrunched up the piece of paper and threw it in a trash can on the sidewalk.

I eventually found my car again. As I drove back towards La Push I realised that my mood had changed dramatically since this morning. The optimistic, enthusiastic Leah had slowly faded away and in her place was the miserable, defeated Leah who appeared more often than the first one.

I finally reached the edge of the reservation and I felt like I had never been gone. It would be so easy for me to slip back into the depression and bitterness that I was renowned for.

Until I spotted a figure walking along the edge of the road. He was tall, had dark brown hair and olive skin. It was Embry. I didn't know what over took me, but I had a great urge to pull over. So I did.

I wound down the window of my crappy car and shouted out at him. "Hey! Embry!"

He turned towards me, startled. "Oh, hey Leah!"

"Do you need a lift?"

"Uh, actually that would be great," he said as he walked towards the car. "Thanks."

As he climbed into the front seat I said, "Don't mention it."

The car started moving and there was an awkward silence.

Embry cleared his throat and said, "It's strange how we keep meeting like this, huh?"

"Yeah," I responded monotonously.

"Well, I guess I kind of chased after you before so we didn't exactly bump into each other, but you catch my drift."

I laughed and he was smiling his cute smile and I turned to look at him. "I wanted to ask you, why did you bother chasing after me?"

"W-well, umm," he stuttered. "I didn't know where you were going or why and I was curious and...I guess I didn't want you to leave."

I kept my eyes on the road as he said this, not wanting to see my blushing. "Why?" I asked.

"Come on, Leah! I'm not like the other guys. I've always liked you, Leah. Your not as bad as you seem."

"Oh, uh, thanks Embry," I said, still blushing. Why was I blushing?

We spent the rest of the trip in silence, which I didn't really mind. Embry had always been quiet. It was nice to have a moment to think about your own thoughts anyway, without someone chewing your ear off.

We finally arrived at Embry's house, where he asked me to drop him off. "Thanks again for the lift," he said still sitting in the car which I stopped on the side of the street outside his house.

"No problem," I said as I glanced at Embry's relaxed face. "You know, we should hang out sometime." The words came out of my mouth before I had time to think about saying them.

Embry seemed a bit surprised at first but then agreed. "Yeah, that would be cool." He smiled again and I mirrored him. We stared at each other for a moment before he got out of the car.

"See you Leah," he said as he shut the door.

"Bye Embry," I said before he turned towards his house.

I then started the car and drove towards my house.

As I drove I was thinking about someone. Not Sam, not Jacob, not Cody from the cafe. There was a new person in mind. His name was Embry Call.

**Reviews please?? More coming soon! **


	10. A Wolf Like Me

**Hey readers! So I've kind of changed the narrating this chapter because I thought you might be interested to know what's going on in the mind of Embry Call after all the events with Jacob and Leah. So yes, please review and tell me what you think! Whether this was a good idea or not, whether I got something wrong etc. etc.**

**And thanks very very much also for the previous reviews!! **

**So here's the next chapter... **

Embry 

Why didn't she even notice me? Why didn't she notice the way I looked at her, the way she was always on my mind? Why didn't she even look at me twice? Why does she always fall for the guys who treat her like dirt? Why?

What was wrong with me? Is it because I'm too shy? If only I had been in Jacob's position. I would love her the way that she deserves to be loved. I would hold her in my arms and never let her go. I would never merely even glance at another girl again.

I ran far into the heart of the forest leaving reality behind and letting the heat flood through me, that familiar yet no longer scary sensation. There was no way I could control my anger now. I was no longer in human form. Luckily I had tied a pair of shorts to my ankle.

I eventually slowed down and waited for the voices in my head to sound, the voices of Quil, Seth, Jacob and maybe even _her_. I waited and heard nothing. I sighed in relief. Finally I could be alone, alone with my own thoughts – not something I was used to. So I lay down on all fours in the grass and enjoyed my moment of solitude.

My train of thought led to Leah yet again. The image of her face appeared in my head. Her elegant face, sweet smile, her startling yet warm eyes… What was the point in denying it? I was in love with her. I hadn't always been though, in love with her I mean. When I first saw her I thought she was pretty damn good-looking and everything but she was definitely off limits because of Sam. And even now with Emily as his soon-to-be wife, I sometimes sense a longing in his mind for Leah, which is really wrong. I mean, isn't one girl enough for him?

And then when Sam imprinted on Emily I could see the bitterness in her take over all her other personality traits. This was about the time that I became a wolf. Then she joined Sam's pack and I could understand how it must have been hell for her. She would have had to hear his thoughts everyday about how he loved Emily and about how a part of him still loved Leah. And to top everything off she lost her hair, her beauty, her closeness with Emily, even her own dad and basically everything she lived for. Sometimes when the bitterness left her face I saw beneath the front that she was always putting on. I saw her pain and I wanted nothing more to grab her in my arms and kiss her to make her forget about Sam and the pain he caused. I wanted to kiss her and let her forget about everything else except how much I loved her.

But I couldn't. Everytime I tried I chickened out. I knew that I would cop heaps from the guys about it but that wasn't my main concern. If she rejected me I don't think I would be able to handle it. It's not like it wasn't already hard enough to control my thoughts in the pack anyway without thinking about being rejected by the girl I loved.

The hardest time to control my thoughts was when I saw her with no clothes on. It was also, uh, lets say _hard_ for me to control another part of me when I saw her naked. The other guys in the pack just thought of it as seeing her sister but that wasn't possible for me. Luckily the guys were too busy trying to control their thoughts rather than monitoring mine.

And of course there was how she always brought up the issue of my dad. I don't think it was anything personal towards me though. I think she was just trying to make everybody miserable because she was – especially Sam. Besides, I couldn't stay mad at her anyway. How could I hate the girl I love?

I mentally sighed. There was also the issue of my imprint. When I heard the thoughts of my pack brothers about imprinting the word gravity kept popping up. It was like their imprint was now their gravity. I was totally confused at the idea. I learnt about gravity in science class in, like, fifth grade and I was told it was the thing that kept you on the ground. So what was with the "new kind of gravity" all about?

I never saw girls' faces anymore anyway. I only saw Leah. I wanted so badly to follow her into Jacob's pack, but Sam ordered me to stay. He ordered me to stay in La Push during the supposed fight because he could see doubt in my thoughts about remaining true to _his_ pack. If I had followed Leah maybe it would have been me instead of Jacob. If I had comforted her in her time of need, then maybe she would have loved me instead of him.

But when I stared at Leah, sometimes I saw _it_. I wasn't sure what _it_ was but it was sure something. It was like when I looked at her, I almost grasped a hold of what I have been longing for but then it quickly faded away, kind of like a bad reception on a radio.

During my time of obsessing over Leah I developed a strange theory. The first time I saw Leah I was a human and so was she, so there was no way that I could have imprinted on her at the time. Then the second time I saw her I was a wolf and so was she and supposedly, wolves weren't meant to imprint on other wolves. So I finally came to a twisted conclusion that Leah was meant to be my imprint but her being a girl wolf when she wasn't supposed to be stuffed up everything.

I know it sounds crazy but it's really the only thing keeping me sane. It's the only morsel of hope I have left that Leah may return my feelings some day. If only she knew how I felt. If only I wasn't too much of a coward to tell her. And if only she felt the same. If only…

I felt the fire inside me die down, enough to allow me to change back into my human form. It was getting pretty dark in the forest by now anyway.

I pulled on my old pair of shorts and started walking out of the trees. But walking just wasn't exhilarating enough so I started running, then sprinting at full speed.

Finally, the highway came into view and I slowed down to a walk again. Of course the moment I stopped concentrating on anything in particular, Leah's face popped into my head. This was what made it so hard not to think about her when I was in wolf-form in the pack. I had to fully concentrate on the task at hand otherwise my thoughts would escalate and all my brothers would find out. And I definitely wouldn't want Leah to find out that way - through someone else's thoughts.

When was I going to tell her though? She's bound to find out sometime and when she does I want to be the one to tell her. But do I have it in me? To lay my deepest feelings right out there for her to either respond to or reject? I've never been the one to express my feelings. I've always been pretty reserved when it comes to talking to people in general.

When I saw her sitting down at Emily's place last night I almost did it. I saw her pained expression and yearned to go and comfort her. I almost went right up to her and told her. I was about to ask her to maybe take a walk or something and I could go from there. And just as I was about to confess, she left. If only I had plucked up the courage a few minutes sooner...

"Hey! Embry!" I heard a voice sound from behind me. I turned around a saw a fairly old, unfamiliar car pull up on the side of the road, although the voice was very familiar.

I stopped and walked over to the car and as the window wound down I saw _her_. She had shortly cropped hair, warm, dark brown eyes and the most astonishing smile. And I was lucky enough to know this beautiful girl. I didn't just _know _her, I was undeniably in love with this girl.

Her name was Leah Clearwater.

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**Will update ASAP. Thanks again for previous reviews!**


	11. Talk

**A/N: Hello readers! Okay, first of all I am so sorry for not updating in like, years! The honest truth is that my internet was down for _weeks_ and I was so eager to post the chapter. So thankyou for hanging in there guys. I will update more frequently from now on, definitely.**

**Also thanks soooooooo much for previous reviews! You guys are awesome, I love reviews! It's what inspires me to write so PLEASE review! Here is the next chapter (finally) from Leah's POV.**

* * *

Leah

Over the next couple of months I had spent almost everyday with Embry. The sad truth was that we didn't really have anyone else to hang around with. Quil was always babysitting Claire, Jared had Kim, Paul had Rachel, Emily and Sam spent most of their time planning their wedding, Seth was always at the Cullens, my mother was either at Billy's or Charlie's and Jacob now had Renesmee or "Nessie". In my opinion Nessie was a very appropriate name since it's an abbreviation for a scary, repulsive sea monster. But I think that the Loch Ness Monster should have remained where she belongs – in the bottom of a filthy lake in Scotland.

It was true that I didn't exactly think highly of the half-breed, but honestly I grew more jealous of her everyday. She had everything I didn't have. Since the new-and-improved-vampire-Bella had adapted unusually quickly to her "vegetarian" diet Nessie had a loving mother who gave her undivided attention 24/7, she had a father who was still alive (technically); she had a large, loving family who watched over her everyday. She was born into a wealthy family, which does help a lot in this life. But the hardest thing to admit to myself was that she had Jacob, _her _Jacob.

She had found her other half and all she needed to do was get born. She had her whole perfect life laid out for her like a buffet. Whereas with _my _life, I have had to search for everything that was missing in my life and even now some pieces in the puzzle don't fit.

At one point I thought Jacob was going to be _my _Jacob. Boy, was I deluded.

Bella Swan – now Bella _Cullen_ – was another girl I envied. Even though she is now a vampire she received the opportunity to conceive a child, something I would die for. And now that she was a bloodsucker and Jacob imprinted all the awkwardness between Jacob and Bella magically evaporated into thin air. So now she has a daughter who is also most likely immortal, just like Bella, so she, Edward and The Loch Ness Monster can spend the rest of eternity together - how nauseatingly lovely.

So everything pretty much sucks, right? It feels like I've hit an all time low. I've been screwed, dumped and forgotten – something I should be used to by now, except I wasn't. Sometimes when I thought of Jacob I felt that same burning sensation I used to feel when I thought of Sam. But then again sometimes when I thought of Jacob I felt glad that I discovered how I felt because if it weren't for him I would still be in love with Sam. I think that realising I had feelings for someone else pretty much cured me of that heartbreak. The negative was that I still had feelings for Jacob – not as strong as the feelings I used to have for Sam – but they were still there.

"Hey Embry?" I asked him on a typical lazy Sunday afternoon in my room spent listening to the radio whilst eating a bag of chips.

"Yeah?"

"Do you… do you ever think you'll imprint?" I tried asking him casually but my voice sounded shaky.

He just sat there for a moment, gazing at the floor. "I would really like to imprint, life would be so much easier I guess. But I don't think I will."

"Why not?" I asked with a mouthful of chips.

"I don't really know," he replied sincerely with an inquisitive smile.

"There must be a reason." After all the time I had spent with Embry I knew how to get him to open up, he just needed a little coaxing. "Come on," I added, batting my eyelashes.

He sighed, defeated. "Really Leah Clearwater, you can get a man to do anything for you, am I right?"

I winked at him playfully. "Almost anything." Even though I didn't mean anything by it, I swear that I saw Embry raise his eyebrows.

"Okay," he started. "I guess the reason is... actually, I don't think there is a reason I just feel like... she's just not out there."

It was silent for a while as we both contemplated his sentence. It sounded like something I had said to Jacob a couple of months ago.

"Hey Leah?" Embry suddenly broke the silence. "Can I ask _you_ something?" He shuffled a little closer from where he sat on my bed next to me.

"Sure, sure," I replied stealing one of Jacob's phrases.

"Umm, well…" Embry started off staring at the opposite wall intently. "Umm…" Embry quickly hopped off the bed and starting pacing my small room, running his fingers through his shortly cropped, black hair. Finally he stopped and cleared his throat. "Okay," he started off and followed with a pause.

"Spit it out already!" I mockingly yelled at him.

"Okay, okay," he said seeming annoyed. In three long strides he made it back to my bed. He sat on the end about a foot away from me. He finally looked up at me with the most serious expression I had ever seen on his face. "Well, you know how we've been spending a lot of time together recently? Like, everyday?"

My stomach churned at his words. I knew what was coming next. He was going to say that we should take some time apart, that he was becoming sick of me. The truth was that seeing Embry was really the only aspect of my life that I looked forward to. Without him I would see no reason to get up in the morning. Over the last couple of months Embry had been like my security blanket. He had been a great friend who listened to all my whinings and worries as if they were more important than world peace. He had filled all the possible lonely, depressing nights I would have had planned out for myself with warmth. I actually had fun when I spent time with him, which was something rare for me. I had shared my deepest secrets with him like how I had cried every night after Sam had dumped me, how I always felt guilty for my father's death. And Embry never judged me; he only listened intensely and acted like he really cared about my pitiful problems. Sometimes he never said anything at all but that was okay, it was just refreshing to get everything off my chest.

Embry had also given me some insight into his life, like how when he got home every morning he had to attempt at explaining to his drunken mother why he was out all night, which was extremely difficult for him considering she had no idea that her son phased into a giant wolf every night. Either that or Embry found his mother passed out on the floor after having drank too much. Before spending so much time with Embry I had never actually realised how much hell he has to go through everyday – dealing with a drunken mother and not even knowing who his father is. I felt like such a bitch for always bringing his issues up in Sam's pack. Of course when I apologised profusely Embry forgave me in an instant. That was just the kind of person he was.

"Leah?" Embry creased his black eyebrows upwards, throwing me an expression that said, "Are you feeling okay?"

"Embry, I know this may sound sad and pathetic, but just hear me out please?"

He just sat there listening intently, as usual.

"Okay I know that you might be becoming sick of me by now, and that is totally understandable because you probably have a million things you'd rather be doing than spending time with me right? But _please _don't leave me now! I know I sound really stupid but I really don't have anyone else right now. Truthfully, you're the only person who's been keeping me sane, the only person who I can confide in and…"

"Leah!" Embry's husky voice interrupted my babbling. "Shh, it's okay. I'm not going anywhere you silly girl. That's the problem, I never want to leave you."

Embry shot me a knowing look.

"What do you mean?" I asked feeling like a moron.

"Don't you get it?"

My expression turned from confused to just plain baffled.

He sighed and ran his fingers through his hair again.

"It's you, Leah. It's always been you," he stated sure and true. I still couldn't process what he was trying to say.

"I would say I'm in love with you but I don't think that covers it. What I feel for you is stronger than love. I'm enraptured in you Leah Clearwater. I become more so each day I spend with you. I know you will probably never return my feelings and I don't expect you to but I just wanted to let you know, in case you change your mind or something."

He kept staring at me in that knowing way that made me melt where I was. His crystal clear, blue eyes sent an electric shock down my spine. I was stuck for words, literally. I wanted to say so much but anything I said would just make me feel like an idiot after Embry's words. I had no idea how to respond but he just kept looking at me, never dropping his gaze.

"Embry I.." I began but a loud banging of a door against the wall of my room made us both jump.

"Leah!" Seth yelled from the doorway to my room. "Phone for you, it's Jacob."

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**More coming soon, and I really mean soon this time! :P **

**Read and review please???? I love reviews :) :)**


	12. One Last Time

**A/N: Here's the next chapter! It's a longish one so I hope you'll like it!**

**If something doesn't sound right then please let me know if there's anything I could change to make it sound more realistic (you know what I mean). Next chapter is in the making...**

**And thankyou if you do review! Reviews are _always_ much appreciated. **

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Leah

I looked over at Seth and back to Embry again who was giving me a pleading stare or making use of his "puppy" face. I couldn't make myself think clearly let alone say anything. Did Embry just say that he was _more _than in _love _with me? Maybe I was hallucinating, maybe I had sunk that low that I was imagining things to make myself feel reassured. The tension in the room was so high you could have sliced it with a knife. Was that the right metaphor? I didn't know on account of my being dazed.

"Hello? Leah?" Seth yelled suddenly. "Are you going to answer the phone or what?"

"Oh, uh, right," I said shakily. "Sure, I guess." I took the receiver from Seth who then walked out of the room.

"Hello?" I spoke into the receiver.

"Leah? Is that you?" Jacob's panicked voice sounded through the phone.

"Yeah it's m-,"was all I managed to say before Jake interrupted me.

"Leah, I really need to see you, alone," he said quickly in a way that made me feel uneasy. "Listen, can you meet me in the clearing near the Cullens' house in about an hour, it's really important." Now he was using his Alpha voice, which was very different to his usual laid-back tone.

My eyes wandered around the room as I listened to Jacob and landed on Embry, who seemed to be staring at the floor. I heard him mutter something to himself that sounded like, "Unbelievable."

"I'll be there," was all I could really say.

"Okay, see you soon," was what Jacob blurted out before hanging up.

"Bye," I told the dial tone.

What was all that about? Something bad must've happened because never in my life had I heard Jacob sound that panicked before. And what was the rush? Oh my god, maybe something happened to Billy! But then I don't understand why he would meet me at the Cullens', unless something happened to Bella or Nessie. At the back of my mind the old, bitter Leah was excited at the thought of Bella's misfortune. I guess deep down I still hadn't forgiven her for hurting Jacob before and prolonging the Cullens' stay in Forks, therefore causing me to be a freakish girl werewolf.

As I was mulling this over I saw Embry swiftly get up of my bed and head towards the door.

"Embry?" I called after him but he just swung the door open and stormed out into the corridor. "Embry! Wait up!"

I hopped off the bed and rushed after him down the stairs and outside into the front yard.

"Embry, stop!" I grabbed hold of his bulky shoulder and managed to turn him around on the spot.

He shrugged off my hand and said bitterly, "Why? So I can listen to you and Jacob say sweet nothings to each other?"

"What do you mean by that?" I asked him with the same amount of bitterness.

"I cannot believe you, Leah!" Embry unexpectedly started yelling. "I spend everyday with you listening to all your pettiest, girliest problems and being your friend, asking for nothing more. And then when I finally tell you how I feel you just go crawling back to _him_."

"Well, no one was forcing you to be with me! I couldn't anyway because I'm just a petty little girl! And besides I'm not crawling back to him, he asked to see me and I can't stand him up it was an _order_!" I felt so horrible speaking to Embry this way but I was so confused about why he was so angry.

"Fine!" as Embry's voice became louder his body started shaking. He then flexed his fists, closed his eyes and took a deep breath. This was the process of "taking control" so that he didn't phase right there and then.

"Run off and see your precious Jacob then," Embry retorted in a low, bitter voice. "Do whatever you want, Leah. I don't care anymore." And with that he walked off with his hands in his pockets.

I stood there for a few moments, trying to fight back tears. Great. Now Embry had lost interest in me too. _Well done Leah, you have now officially no friends, _I thought to myself.

I sighed and ran my fingers through my hair. I eventually remembered that I had to meet Jacob in the clearing.

I didn't know whether I should meet him in wolf form or human so I ran there in human just in case. Once I reached the sun had just set making it more difficult to see when not in wolf form.

In the clearing I spotted Jacob straight away, his tall, broad figure was impossible to miss, even in the dark.

As I walked over to him a look of distress was painted across his face. "Leah! Sorry I forgot to tell you to stay in human form! Oh well I guess it doesn't really matter now."

"Yeah," I said confused at his nervous stance. "So, what's going on? Why the sudden urgent meeting?"

Jacob sighed and stared at me, apprehensive. "It's really difficult for me to say this…"

It was like a replay of Embry's speech this afternoon. "It's okay, you can tell me," I prompted in my gentle, non-bitter voice.

After a long silence he finally spoke. "Okay so today Bella got a letter from some Italian bloodsucker, right?"

I nodded, eager to find out what was so important.

"And the leech wants to check up on her or something, to make sure she's a vampire." Jacob flinched as he admitted Bella's vampire status. "Because apparently he found out about her knowing about the Cullens' and how they lived. So they said before that she would have to become a vampire or they would have to kill her."

"So, what's the problem?" I asked. "She is a vampire."

"It's not Bella that's the problem, it's Nessie." His face fell as he spoke. "Many years ago there was something called an immortal child, where a vampire had bitten a human child and turned it into a vampire. But children vampires are terrifying, even more so than adult ones. They are uncontrollable and can massacre whole villages in a toddler tantrum." I felt goose bumps rise on my arms as Jacob explained this. "So the Italian vamps don't know that Nessie is actually a half-human, half-vampire. If they saw her they would think that she was an immortal child."

"Oh," I said still confused about what the problem was. "So what does this have to do with anything?"

"Immortal children are strictly against vampire law – they are taboo. If the Italian bloodsuckers saw Nessie and thought she was an immortal child they would have to kill her,_ and_ her creator."

"But can't you just hide her, Nessie I mean?"

"See there's the problem," Jacob's voice turned severe. "The leader of the Italian leeches is a mind reader like Edward except he can see every thought you ever thought. And if he read any of our minds he would see Nessie and automatically think the worst." He sighed and then said, "Which is why we have to leave."

"Hold on," I interrupted. "Did you say _we_? As in _you_?"

Jacob nodded solemnly.

"Oh," was all I could say once I realised what he meant.

"I don't have a choice," he said gravely. "She's my imprint."

"Where will you go?" I asked monotonously.

"I'm not sure, Edward said something about a coven like the Cullens' in Denali."

"Oh," I said again. I sat down on a conveniently placed log and allowed myself to absorb everything Jacob had said.

Jacob followed my lead and sat down next to me. "I'm so sorry Leah. I really wish I could stay. I want to, _really _bad. I would stay in La Push with you forever if I could Leah. But I can't and it's killing me."

"What about Billy? And what about the rest of the pack? Have you told them? What about Emily? Rachel?" I asked him accusingly, tears welling in my eyes. "Are you going to ditch your entire family and your friends to live with those leeches?"

"I have no choice!" Jacob yelled at me now turning his body around on the log so he was facing me. "Sorry," he said sheepishly. "But it's true. And yes, I have told Sam, my father and Rachel, who didn't exactly take it too well. Sam will tell his pack and the rest of your pack will see it through your thoughts."

"Hold up! _My _pack?" I asked confused yet again.

"Yeah, I was kind of getting to that," he said matter-of-a-factly. "Since I'll no longer be in charge the place of Alpha automatically falls down to you."

"But I can't! I can't do it, Jacob!" I stood up yelling.

"Why not?" he asked, standing up too.

"Because, because… I'm just a girl! Girls aren't supposed to even _be _wolves let alone alphas!"

"There's no law against it," Jacob offered. "Look, I'm so sorry Leah! I'm sorry I'm dumping all this responsibility on you – it's not fair. But I can't do anything about it, I'm sorry."

At this point tears were streaming down my face. "But you can't leave! You just can't! You're so selfish! And, and… well…I'll really miss you, you stupid mutt!"

Our gazes were locked and before I knew it Jacob was kissing me. He was kissing me in a way that was so yearning that it was painful. I kissed him, not holding back. He grabbed hold of my waist and brought myself closer towards him and held me there with the small of my back. I responded by wrapping my arms around his neck and grabbing hold of tuffs of his hair. Our kissing was long and passionate and I couldn't feel anything that wasn't apart of Jacob.

To both our disappointments the kiss eventually had to end. But Jacob still clasped my hands in his.

"I love you Leah," he said. "I always will and I'm so sorry that it will never be enough."

"Can I ever see you again?"

"I don't know," he replied dismally. "It might not be safe for a long while. And I'm planning to keep on phasing, forever."

I immediately knew what this meant. It meant that if I stopped phasing for good and saw Jacob again along with the vampires, my wolf genes might become fired up and cause me to phase again – something I couldn't handle for a second time; a risk I couldn't take.

"Oh, I see," I said solemnly.

"I'm sorry, Leah. I'm so sorry. You know that I wish it could be any other way."

Jacob hugged me and I buried my face in Jacob's chest as I heaved heavy sobs, ruining his shirt. He grabbed a hold of my head with one hand and wrapped his other arm around my back.

Jacob chuckled out of the blue. "You know, to be honest you're the last person I would expect to find myself comforting."

I pulled my face away from his chest and wrapped my arms around his neck. "Why is that?"

"Because you always seem so strong and tough and deep down I think you are. You can stand on your own two feet, that's what I love about you, Leah."

"Really?" I asked, fresh tears budding.

He nodded. "You'll make the best girl Alpha ever!" He smiled his classic, warm, friendly Jacob smile.

I laughed a hysterical laugh. "That's because I'll be the only girl Alpha ever."

"But still the best, in my opinion."

I sighed. "So I guess this is it?"

"I guess." He said staring at me intensely. "Goodbye Leah. Don't forget that I love you." He then carefully held my face and kissed me again except this time it was sweet and gentle. Quick, but full of love and tenderness. He eventually pulled away and stroked my face once.

"I hate how I love you, Jacob Black." I managed to smile slightly.

"Take care of the pack for me okay? You'll be great, I promise." He then took a few steps back. The heartache grew stronger.

"Bye," I managed to say while more tears streamed down my face.

"Bye Leah," and with that Jacob disappeared behind the trees and out walked a russet brown wolf.

He sat down on all fours, threw his head back and howled a howl that was filled with agony, at the top of his lungs. He shot me once last longing, pleading and at the same time apologetic glance and bolted away into the trees again, leaving me alone in the clearing writhing in pain.

Jacob's pain; my heartache.

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	13. Decisions

**A/N: Hey readers! Thanks to everyone who's been reading my story up until this point. I wasn't exactly sure where I should go from last chapter with the plot, but I finally decided to go with my original decision. I hope you like it!**

**Please submit feedback so I know what you liked/disliked about the chapter.**

**Thanks guys! Now, onto the story...**

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Leah

I collapsed to the ground in a fit of sobbing. Now there was no reason to fight the tears. The sobs became louder as I remembered Jacob's yearning face, our last agonisingly passionate kiss, the heart-wrenching howl that ripped from Jacob's chest. Even remembering his name – Jacob – caused a stab of pain in my stomach. I couldn't take it anymore and just buried my face in my hands and cried.

It seemed like I had been crying a lot lately. Since when was I ever a crybaby? And more importantly, since when was I weak? I distinctively remembered one of the last things Jacob had said to me in this very clearing - "_…__you always seem so strong and tough and deep down I think you are. You can stand on your own two feet, that's what I love about you, Leah."_

I shed the last of my tears and then rubbed my eyes with my hands. I took a deep breath and then pulled myself together. I hopped up off the ground and just started running.

Jacob was right. I was strong and I could stand on my own two feet. It was just a part of who I am. Sure I can seem self-absorbed, I complain, whine, insult and annoy people but I definitely don't give up so easily. _I can do this. _I told myself. "I can do this." I whispered to myself as I was running, feeling a little silly. Although taking part in behaviour that was considered slight crazy such as talking to myself, was the least of my problems.

I ran out of an opening of the trees, which lead me to a familiar small blue and grey house that held the essence of some of the most pleasant and excruciatingly terrible memories of my life.

I knocked profusely on the back door of the house until I noticed that I'd made a slight dent in it. I stopped and waited impatience winning me over.

_I can do this, I can do this,_ I reminded myself. _I am strong._

Finally the doorknob turned slowly and he was there.

"Leah?" Sam's groggy voice croaked at me. "Is that you? What are you doing here?" I realised I must have woken him up, since he was only wearing a pair of old sweats.

All of a sudden Sam's Leah replaced the spot where I was standing and automatically leaned in towards Sam to embrace him.

"He's gone!" I cried as I wrapped my arms around him. Sam, who was probably half-asleep by the looks of him, tentatively wrapped his arms around me in a comforting way as I almost started to cry again.

"Shh," his voice whispered in my ear. "It's okay Lee-lee."

Suddenly I froze. This was not what I wanted to hear. My old boyfriend calling me his pet name was definitely not what I wanted to hear. I had been there and done that, I had already played the role of the pitiful ex-girlfriend. I was definitely over Sam. This was not why I came.

_Stop it, Leah! You are strong! Remember? Don't you dare turn on the waterworks, missy, _my conscience reminded me.

I abruptly let go of Sam and wiped my eyes clean of any budding tears. I decided I was finished with crying – for good.

I looked up to see his confused face. "Sorry," I told him awkwardly.

"It's okay," Sam replied, still looking slightly baffled. "Come inside." He led me into the living room and I sat down on Emily's couch. He sat down beside me with one hand rested on my shoulder. "So, do you want to tell me what's the matter?"

I took a deep breath and nodded. "You already know."

Finally we were on the same page and Sam's expression turned serious. "I assume Jacob has told you then."

I nodded again.

Emily appeared in the room in her dressing gown. She yawned and greeted me. "Leah! Hey honey, what's the matter?"

I looked to Sam. "Jacob's gone," Sam confirmed to Emily.

"Oh, Leah honey," she dashed across the room, sat next to me on the couch and gave me a quick hug. "I'm sorry, you and Jacob were pretty close huh?"

"Yeah," I replied, knowing that she had no idea exactly _how_ close we were.

I finished hugging Emily and gave her a weak grimace. I turned to Sam again and asked, "What do we do now?"

Sam thought for a while and then said, "We'll have to call a combined pack meeting. Depending on what everyone thinks, we'll have to take a vote."

"Okay," I answered, unsure of what the meeting would involve.

Sam made a few phone calls and in about half an hour everyone was sitting in Emily and Sam's living room – Jared, Paul, Collin and Brady from Sam's pack and Embry, Quil and Seth from… my pack? It was discomforting how one little word like "my" carried so much meaning. I glanced at Embry from across the room a few times but his glance never met mine. I assumed we were still ignoring each other – an uncomfortable status for me.

Once everyone settled on Emily's couch and stopped asking questions and grumbling about how late it was, Sam gestured for me to speak in front of everyone, and strangely enough I felt a little nervous.

I stood up and quickly glanced around the crowded room. _You can do this, Leah. _

I cleared my throat and opened my mouth to talk.

"Oh, come on Leah!" Paul interrupted, losing his temper as usual. "You got me out of bed at two in the morning for this, just spit it out already!"

"Shut up, Paul!" Embry unexpectedly spoke up. "You were saying Leah?"

My heart was warmed slightly at his gesture and as our eyes met I shot him a quick, grateful smile. His face softened slightly for a second and then turned serious again. Maybe he wasn't so mad at me.

I finally spoke. "Okay, so some of you might already know this but for those of you in Jacob's" – cringe – "pack, this will be news to you." I was pleased at how confident my voice sounded. Maybe I wasn't so terrible at this Alpha thing after all. "Jacob left Forks a few hours ago with the Cullens." I paused to let the information sink in and observe everyone's reactions. Almost everyone's jaw dropped.

"What do you mean left?" My brother asked, worried. "Like, for a while? Oh no! For good? Why?"

I breathed a deep breath and explained everything that Jacob had told me to Embry, Quil and Seth. Even though Sam's pack already knew everything they still seemed uncomfortable listening to my speech. Once I had finished I sat down awkwardly.

There was a long silence once I had finished. Seth looked like he was about to burst into tears. He had always looked up to Jake as a role model over the years. Quil and Embry also seemed shaken since Jacob used to be their best friend. Suddenly I felt even angrier with Jacob for abandoning everyone like this.

"Man, I'm really gonna miss Jake," Embry contemplated.

"What a jerk! Ditching his best friends for those leeches!" Quil exclaimed.

Seth seemed lost for words for once in his life.

"Yeah, I know," I tried to speak sturdily. "I wasn't exactly thrilled at this news either."

"Yeah, cause you were his girlfriend right?" Paul added scathingly. "Well, his part time girlfriend anyway."

"Shut it, Paul!" Embry came to my defence again before I could retort Paul's idiotic comment. "You don't know what the hell you're saying!"

"Ooh, someone's jealous huh? Maybe it's a good thing Jake left, Leah may have some competition." Paul teased him. Embry's hands started shaking as he shot Paul a furious glare.

"Both of you shut up and listen," Sam ordered sternly as he stood up, now the centre of attention. "So now Jacob's gone, the role of Alpha automatically falls down to Leah. Maybe if you stopped fighting like children and actually tried to understand what Leah was getting to you might have already come to this conclusion."

"Leah as Alpha?" Quil groaned. "Are you _serious_?"

Sam ignored Quil and continued. "But we aren't sure whether women are actually allowed to be alphas. The legends mention nothing about female wolves at all." Sam's words caused my self-confidence to crumble slightly.

Sam paused for a moment. "We're going to have to take a vote."

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**Thanks for reading! **

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	14. Cold Feet

**A/N: Firstly, I AM SO SO SO SO SORRY!!! I haven't updated in so long because I have been unbelievably busy lately with stuff for school and to top everything off my computer literally stopped working for a long period of time. Not to mention the old WRITER'S BLOCK. Don't you just _hate_ writer's block? **

**Ok. Enough excuses. Please don't hate me. **

**I love all of you who review.**

**You are champions.**

**Story time....**

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Leah

Sam paused for a moment. "We're going to have to take a vote."

_A vote?_ Was he serious? Who in the world would vote for me anyway? After all the suffering I had caused Sam and Jacob's packs nobody was going to vote me as Alpha. They'd rather face _Paul _than have me bossing them around.

I suddenly felt weak and self-conscious as everyone murmured nervously amongst themselves. I was sure I heard a few profanities leak out from Paul's big mouth.

"Okay," Sam continued in a voice of authority. "We'll start with Jared."

Did I really want this? Did I really want to be tied down to the one aspect of my life that destroyed everything I cherished? I already knew the answer. Of course I didn't. I had endured enough pain and suffering without adding all the pressure of becoming alpha as well. I realised that although there were some experiences from this whole werewolf thing that I actually didn't mind, like the speed when I ran and the feeling of being included in an exclusive group. But there were so many reasons why I hated my body being in this weird half-human form, like how it killed my father, I lost my hair, my boyfriend, my close relationship with Emily, my child-bearing abilities and pretty much my life. I didn't want to embrace the one thing that ruined my entire existence. Being Beta was different because I really didn't have much power, but with alpha there was so much pressure, pressure I couldn't handle right now.

Just as I was about to object to the voting, Embry interrupted Sam. "Hold up a minute!"

Sam looked annoyed. "What is it, Embry?"

Embry's face remained serious. "Don't you think Leah should get a say in this? I mean, doesn't she have a choice? It's seems only fair."

Paul interjected moronically, "It seems Embry wants Leah all to himself, more like it."

"I thought I told you to shut it, Paul!" Embry retorted back at him.

"Ooh, someone's feisty, huh?" Embry's hands started quivering as he glared at Paul. "Maybe you _do_ want her as alpha, that way you have to do anything she wants you to."

Embry's quivering turned into violent shakes. "That's it! Outside Paul! Now!"

"Fine! I can take you!" Paul also started shaking.

"Please," Emily politely interceded. "Be careful of the coffee table!"

"He's gone…" Seth mumbled blankly to himself.

Collin yelped, "Oh, cool! A fight!"

"EVERYONE QUIET!" Sam roared and everybody fell silent. Shocked faces filled the room and Sam closed his eyes as he took several deep breaths. Then calmly he ordered, "Embry, Paul breath slowly and calm down. There will be no fighting tonight. Now back to the point, Embry you were saying?" Then he glanced at Paul. "No interruptions this time."

Embry cooled down and replied. "I just think Leah should have a say in whether she is alpha or not, because she might not want to. And Jacob had the option before as well."

Sam thought for a moment and turned to me. "Well, do you want to be alpha? I mean I just assumed you did before without bothering to think of asking."

I weighed up all the pro's and con's and the negative list went for miles in my mind. "Honestly, no." I heard someone gasp, probably Emily. "I just don't think I'm a good person for the job. Mainly because I would really hate the pressure and I've been through so much lately, you have no idea." My voice cracked on the last word, revealing my weakness.

Sam and I were staring at each other so intently that I had forgotten about everyone else in the room.

Sam nodded and said, "Fair enough. You don't have to be alpha if you don't want to be." He then turned to everyone and spoke. "In that case because Jacob had no third-in-command, the remaining people from Jacob's pack are obliged to re-join my pack. This is the only option that appears obvious since we have found no legends in La Push that mention there being two separate packs."

Once Sam had gone over a few more points about patrol duties the meeting broke up and everyone left. After a while I realised I was still sitting on Emily's couch.

"Leah?" Emily's voice caught my attention. "You'd better be off home now, hon. It's quite late, unless you'd prefer to stay here of course?"

"No thanks, Em," I replied as I got up and made my way to the door.

"Okay, well, night Lee," she greeted me as we embraced.

I was just about to leave until I heard Sam call out. "Lee, wait up a second!"

I turned around to look at him, glad that my feelings for him had diminished finally.

"I just wanted to say, I'm glad you could come to us – me and Em," Sam said in a gentle voice, the one he used to use when I was his girlfriend, but luckily it now carried no meaning. "For help, because I still love you Leah, you know that."

I took a deep breath and then delivered the words that had been boiling up in my head for quite some time. "You hurt me Sam," I stated as a fact. "You hurt me so badly."

"I know," he comforted me as he grabbed my hands from my sides. "And I'm forever guilty for doing so. I'm so sorry, Leah." He shook my hands in his as he spoke, for emphasis.

I wrenched my hands out of his and continued, "I wasn't finished." His face turned serious now, but he also looked rejected. "But I think I am finally over it. I'm over you Sam. I don't love you anymore and I'm glad. I've finally accepted the fact that we can never be together anymore. However, I still want to be friends with you and I think that after tonight, I have proved that I can be just friends with you now."

I finished my speech and Sam was quiet for a moment. "You finished?"

"Yeah," I sighed. "So what do you think?"

Sam smiled. "I'm really happy for you, Leah." He embraced me quickly but gently.

Then he sighed. "I guess now it's my turn to be mature and finally let go too. If you could do it then I really should, since I was the one who… well, it doesn't matter. I'm just happy for you."

I started smiling too. "Thanks, Sam. It really means a lot." With that I opened the front door.

"Oh and one more thing," Sam added and I stopped in my tracks. "You might want to cut Embry some slack. I think he really cares about you, Lee."

I was surprised that Sam, who was usually so serious and manly, would read into something like that. I turned around to face his unfamiliar, soft, caring expression and promised him, "I will," before walking out the door.

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**Okay so for those of you who are like, "Is this a Jacob/Leah fic or an Embry/Leah fic?" My answer is: it's both, in a way. **

**But Embry is kind of "the other guy" who is usually ignored by the annoyingly naive Leah and he _really_ deserves some attention. Not to mention how crazily in love with her he is. However the love he holds for Leah isn't magical imprinting love, it's more like adorance. He is just infatuated in her in a very realistic way and believes that he can never imprint because of it. In other words, he wants a normal relationship with her, but fears he can't. ****Where as Jacob is the incredibly amazing, alluring loverboy who helped Leah get over the ex (Sam). Jacob does love Leah too, but it's more like the way Bella loved Jacob in "Eclipse" - he loved her more than he should but nowhere near enough. ****Sounds confusing doesn't it? But don't worry everything will be sorted out soon in the crazy world of Leah Clearwater, so KEEP READING. ****And reviews are like new entries on the S. Meyer website - I love them!**

**So any thoughts?**

**(That was the longest author's note I have ever written.)**


	15. The Getaway Plan

**A/N: Readers, I hope you are proud of me - I have updated only one day after my last chapter! So I hope you like this next one and thanks to all the reviewers out there!**

**Oh and it's been a while since I've said this so...**

**Disclaimer: I am not Stephenie Meyer. I wish I was. All the characters from La Push & Forks belong to her.**

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Leah

I knew it was going to be one of those nights when no matter how tired I was, I wasn't going to sleep. There were just too many thoughts in my mind that I couldn't silence. There was one thought of a certain person which I couldn't overlook. I was restless. My small room was way too small at that moment. I felt claustrophobic. I needed space to think, to feel emotions that I had ignored.

I angrily got out of bed, threw on a pair of old sweats and a jacket over the tank top I was wearing, tip-toed down the stairs and out into the cool, night-time air.

I started walking to First beach, which had recently become my brooding location. My toes hit the sand and I finally felt at home. The beach carried so many memories that used to make up my life. One memory contained Sam, a tent, a sleeping bag and my virginity; another memory of burying Seth in the wet, cold sand; another of sunbaking with Emily; and the one I cherished most – storytelling with my dad. We used to curl up on a picnic rug at night as he told me about the constellations and galaxies and about how the La Push legends moulded into all of them.

I collapsed onto the moist, pebbly sand and stared out at the vast ocean, allowing my thoughts to unfold. But I wasn't alone for long.

"I thought I would find you here," Embry's deep, resounding voiced trickled into my ear.

I turned to face him and remembered how I was supposed to be angry at him still. "Really? So what, are you like, stalking me now?" My old bitter voice was so easy to slip back into that it sickened me.

He didn't find it funny. "No, you just spend so much time at this beach and I couldn't sleep and..." he trailed off. "Anyway, yeah, you should be mad at me. I made a real idiot of myself." I heard the sand squelch next to me as he joined me on the ground.

"When?" I asked attempting at sounding sarcastic but ended up just sounding pathetic.

"Good question," Embry mused. "Well, the time when I confessed my undying love for you would probably make the cut. Oh and the time when I almost started a fight with Paul while he made sexual innuendos. Ah, good times, good times."

I turned my gaze away from the water and stared at Embry's blank expression. He was trying to stifle a laugh and so was I. We both failed at stifling and both burst into laughter at the same time, hysterical laughter, but we laughed none the less.

"We're a sad pair, aren't we?" I asked him.

"Why are you sad?" Embry asked, concerned. "Oh, right. Jacob. Yeah, I'm pretty pissed off at him myself. But that's nothing compared to what he did to you. I'm sorry that he's such a jerk now. He used to be cool." His face fell and I felt a sudden urge to comfort _him._

"You guys were bestfriends, right?" I asked him, all bitterness evaporated out of my voice. "I remember how before all of this wolf stuff happened, you, Quil and Jacob were inseparable. Sam and I used to see you guys around town hanging out together all the time."

"Yeah," was all Embry said.

"Those were the days." It was meant to be a positive sentence but sounded mournful instead.

"Don't you ever miss it?" Embry broke the silence.

"Miss what?"

"Being normal."

"Yeah, Embry," I said sadly. "You have no idea how much I miss being normal, being human."

I stared at the ground for a while and contemplated what I had just said. I finally realised that's exactly what I wanted to be – normal. I wanted to just have a regular, human life. No supernatural or wolf-related problems. I just wanted to have a normal life, if only for a while. As I glanced across at Embry's thoughtful face I understood that that's exactly what Embry wanted too.

"Then let's be normal, let's be human!" I suddenly exclaimed.

"What do you mean?" Embry asked, his facial expression saying, 'I think she's going crazy'.

"Let's get out of here, Embry," I stated, sure and true. The idea suddenly appeared obvious to me.

"What do you mean?" he repeated himself.

"I _mean_," I said, getting more excited by the minuted. "Let's just leave, Embry. You and me. Let's just get out of here. Away from La Push and Forks. Away from all the pack life."

Embry's bewildered expression was salting my game. "What? Leah, are you crazy?"

I stood up and walked in front of Embry and yelled at him, "Maybe I am! But I don't care! I'm just so sick of this life, Embry! Let's go!"

"Yeah, I heard you the first time, Leah," he assured me calmly as he grabbed my hand and swung me back onto the sand next to him. "But just think about it for a minute."

I sighed and folded my arms in irritation, waiting for his explanation. But as soon as I looked into Embry's blue, calm eyes I felt at ease.

"You'll be leaving your entire family, your friends."

"But only for a while! I can always come back when…"

"When what, Leah? When all the wolves are gone? Because that can take decades!"

"Not necessarily! Sam is already trying to control himself and the vampires are gone now! Besides you don't like it here either. I can tell."

Embry sighed. "My reasons are different from yours."

"You can tell me," I coaxed him.

"You know why! I am the only one who hasn't imprinted. And you know all too well why that hasn't happened."

I stared at him blankly.

"I love you, remember?" Embry questioned me, aggravated.

My eyes fell to the ground. "Oh, that," I said in a small voice. I decided to use this against him. "Then all the more reason to come! I do want to be with you Embry. You know I like you."

"But you don't love me the way I love you," he argued.

"Well," I glanced up at him from under my batting eyelashes, attempting at being flirtatious. "Give me some time and that could change." I offered.

He then stared at me, contemplating. "You're too damn irresistible, you know that?"

I grabbed his hand in a quick, excited motion. "Does that mean 'yes'"? I squealed.

He chuckled softly and reluctantly told me, "I guess so."

I squealed again. "That's so great! Thanks so much Embry!" I kissed him on the cheek swiftly and I heard him exhale audibly. Then I told him more seriously, "It really means a lot, Emb. I don't think I could do this without you, since you have been so patient and kind to me lately and everything. You deserve better, you know that?"

Embry waved his hand. "Yeah, whatever," he dismissed my question. "So what's the getaway plan?"

I stood up and held out my hand, which he grabbed in an instant. We then walked our last walk along First Beach for a long time.

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**A/N: By the way I got the last question Embry asked from the name of the band "The Getaway Plan". If you like rock/alternative music you should look 'em up. "Where the City Meets the Sea" is a good one from them. **

**Also, I kinda got the idea of the memories of Leah and her father from another fanfic called "Galaxy" by Leiaaa. It is by far the _best_ Embry/Leah fic I have read and if you haven't already read it you really should! It's _really _well written, even better or just as good as S. Meyer. So Leiaaa do you mind if I take the idea? I'll take it out of the story if you want me to.**

**Anyhow, you could pretty-please-with-sugar-on-top submit a review... I mean only if you want to... **


	16. Moving Forward

**Firstly, I'd like to say thanks to everyone who has been reading this story up until now. And secondly, thanks x 10000000 to everyone who has reviewed. This is in fact the last chapter (yes, sad I know), but I will be writing an epilogue from Jacob's POV. So keep your eyes peeled for that one.**

**Anyhow, here's the last chapter. Enjoy! And review!**

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"_You're a part-time lover and a full-time friend." _**- The Moldy Peaches. **

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Leah

I sat in the middle of the tiny apartment, on the second-hand, beat up couch with my face buried in my hands. In my lap was a crumpled note, which arrived in an envelope with no name and no return address. There were only several words scribbled on the piece of paper along with an address on the back of it, yet it took me at least half an hour to process the information.

_To my Beta,_

_Meet me._

_From your Alpha._

_P.s. I still do._

It had been a year, _a year, _since I had seen him. Today had started like any other day. How could I have ended up so distraught? I had been sent home from the hotel today because of my promotion from waitress to secretary of the front desk, little did I know I would have found a letter bomb waiting for me at our apartment – _our_ meaning Embry and I. Of course Embry hadn't arrived home yet since his construction work shift ended at five o'clock.

It only seemed like yesterday when Embry and I arrived in Seattle with nothing but my wretched old car and two duffel bags. We had started off in a Christian shelter somewhere in the city. Eventually we both scored jobs and started to earn enough money to rent a flat, then buy furniture, clothes and so on and so fourth. It wasn't much, but it was endurable. There were times where I felt so angry and distressed that I almost phased, but having Embry there as support made all the difference. I wouldn't have chosen anyone else to run away with, except maybe the dispatcher of the note that lay in front of me.

We didn't technically run away though. We consulted Emily and Sam first, who were unusually calm about the situation. I suppose they could understand why I had had enough of that lifestyle. I had been trying to keep up with the supernatural for way too long. I needed a break, and I sure got one. A year doesn't seem like such a long time, until you survive three hundred and sixty five days of struggling to make a living. But it was worth it in the end.

It was ironic how just as soon as my relationship with Embry started developing into something beyond just being roommates, a certain somebody had to screw everything up again. Do I meet him? Do I not meet him? To be? Or not to be?

I sat up straight and felt the couch move underneath me. I suddenly realised that my quivering body was causing the movement.

_Breathe, Leah,_ I tried to calm myself. _You've made it this far, you are not phasing now. _

I took a deep breath, rose from the couch, grabbed my coat and locked the door of the apartment behind me. I pressed the button of the elevator too many times, indicating to my self that I carried no patience at all. I gave up and took the stairs. Once I reached my car I grabbed the map of the city from the glove box and followed the directions until I reached the destination.

The streets turned darker and appeared to be more "lived-in" as I drove to the location. I seemed to be heading for the poorer parts of downtown Seattle. I suddenly felt vulnerable being a girl, alone in a car in a dark street.

The car jolted to a stop outside the street that was the address written on the back of the note.

With a great amount of courage, I swung the car door open and my feet hit the hard, wet concrete. I shut the door of the car as carefully as I could, trying not to attract attention to myself. I felt silly acting so cautious. If any man tried to attack me I knew I could fight him off. But I wasn't sure exactly how strong I would be, since I hadn't phased in months.

My footsteps were so loud, resounding along the quiet street that it sent shivers down my spine. The atmosphere was eerie, even to a girl who had previously in her life bitten off a vampire's head.

Standing at the end of a murky, shadowed alley – that was where I saw him.

I made my way down the alley and was standing three feet away from him. He stepped into a stream of light, which was when I recognised his features. He seemed taller than before, if that was possible, and he had grown his hair a little longer so that it fell in a messy, shaggy cut. He was wearing black jeans, lace-up boots and a leather jacket. He looked like he could have easily blended in with this dodgy area. Maybe he had meant to dress that way to do so. His expression definitely blended in with the depressing environment and I could tell he wasn't pretending.

"You came," Jacob stated in a husky, low voice.

I didn't say a word and just kept staring at him questioningly.

He took another step closer. "Are you going to say anything, Lee?"

My gaze dropped.

"Fine, I guess I'll talk."

His hand felt hot as he traced the line of my jaw, tilting my head up to look at his oddly gentle expression. It became more difficult to remain emotionless.

"I've missed you." I felt tears welling up in my eyes and received a shock of déjà vu.

He started to stroke my face. "Come on, Lee. Talk. I would think after all this time you would actually say something." His tone carried a hint of smugness that irritated me endlessly. But once my gaze locked with his it was impossible for me to be mad at him. I traced his hand that held my face with my hand.

I wanted to say so much. I wanted to ask him why he had waited this long to talk to me, why he had bothered meeting me today when we both knew there was no hope, how he has been, whether he had suffered as much as I had and whether he still loved me. Then I wanted to scream at him and asked him whether he was sadistic enough to enjoy putting me through all the pain he has in the past, and did at that moment. I wanted to tell him that it wouldn't work; _we _couldn't work. Even if he hadn't imprinted, a relationship built on pain was going to end similarly to how it started. It was rushed from the beginning and I knew it wouldn't have lasted.

So many words boiled up in my head that if I tried speaking it would sound like gibberish. Out of all the words I chose only four. Four words that encapsulated exactly how I felt.

"I still do, too," I simply said with a sigh.

I grabbed his hand and moved it away from my face and gave it back to him. Then, to not reject him, I held his warm face with my other hand and brought his face down to my level.

I kissed him once on the cheek. "Goodbye Jacob." I hoped that would be the last time I would ever have to say those words.

My hand lost contact from his face as I walked away from him. I used fast, long strides to prevent me from running back into his warm, comforting arms that I craved so much.

One word was circling through my head as I made my decision.

_Embry. Embry. Embry. _I told myself. _He needs you more than anyone else, Leah. And you need him too. You know it's true. _

The car roared to life and I sped away from the lonely streets.

To my relief, I eventually arrived outside the door of the apartment to see Embry sitting on the floor, waiting patiently. As usual.

"Leah, hey!" Embry greeted me, wearing his work clothes that consisted of a singlet and a pair of dirty jeans accompanied by scuffed boots. "I heard about your promotion and all I can say is congratulations! You really deserved it. And, yeah I'm the loser who forgot my keys. So yeah I would have gone and made dinner but I couldn't exactly get in the apartment and…"

As he babbled on about his various explanations and congratulations I took time to study his features closely. I couldn't ignore the expression of pure commitment and eagerness painted across his face as he spoke. He looked so adorable. He was wearing his determined "puppy face" that made me feel warm inside. This was the side of Embry that I had gotten to know and love. This was the boy who had cared for me for months on end, comforting me through the hard times, bringing light to my many days of darkness and I loved him for it. I loved him a lot.

That was when I finally realised I was _in_ love with him. I was in love with him in a normal but wonderful way. No magical wolfy instincts involved at all. I fell in love with him over an amount of time like a normal person does. I fell in love with him because he was a true friend before anything else, because he didn't imprint on a baby, because he was so faithful and true, and because he loved me too, in the purest and truest way possible. What I felt for him, it felt stronger than imprinting – because we had a choice, and I chose to love him. And after all this time of not phasing, after returning to our normal, human statuses; surely there was no way that Embry could imprint on another girl. Sure after all this time, that wasn't possible anymore.

"…So I didn't have time to drop off your clothes at the dry cleaners. And yeah I know we don't really own much stuff, including clothes. Maybe we could think about going shopping soon or something. I mean I know I'm a guy and don't really know much about shopping but I could just hold your bags and stuff." He stopped his speech. "What?" He half-smiled at me and cocked his head to the side.

I answered with a replying smile. "Nothing."

I stared into his calm blue eyes and they invited me in. I stepped towards him, grabbed his face with my hands and planted a kiss on his soft, warm lips.

His initial reaction was shock, but eventually he loosened up and threw himself into the kiss with an endless amount of enthusiasm. I tightened my arms around his neck and he grabbed me by the waist, holding me there. He kissed me hungrily but also gently and I definitely didn't hold back.

When I opened my eyes Embry seemed to still be in shock. I slide my hands away from his neck. I reached into my bag, found my keys and opened the apartment door.

"Okay," I perked up. "Let's go and cook some dinner. Shall we?"

I turned around at the doorway to see him still standing there in shock.

"Well? Are you coming?" I asked him teasingly.

Embry's face slowly morphed into a cheeky smile as he stepped forward, grabbed me by the waist and kissed me once quickly on the lips. "You don't know how long I have wanted to do that."

Three words were hanging on the tip of my tongue, boiling in my blood. I wanted to say them out loud, but if I did I felt like I would curse myself with them. And I wasn't going to screw this up. Not this time.

Instead, I told Embry something he had said to me a long time ago. I was surprised I still remembered them, but I guess you probably should remember when somebody confesses their love for you.

"It's you Embry," I told Embry, sure and true. "It's always been you. You were right. I was blind before, but now I realise. Will you still take me?"

Embry laughed and I felt his hot breath on my neck. "I could never deny you." He said the words with such depth and meaning that I almost started to cry. "And I promise you, that I will never hurt you. I've proved that to you after months of waiting for you, and I could wait for an eternity for you, Leah. I will never let you down. I promise you that."

If I had start crying, I would have been shedding tears of happiness, because I hadn't felt so happy in my entire life.

Embry let go of my waist, and in return I clasped his hand as tight as I could. It was only one small step into our apartment, but once I took this step, I knew that deep down I was finally moving on with my life. I was finally moving forward.

I took the step, which would sooner or later reveal my fate, hand-in-hand with my chosen destiny.

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**Thanks for reading! Look out for an epilogue, coming soon...**


	17. Epilogue: Prison

**A/N: Okay, so this is definitely the last entry for this story so I hope you think it's a good/okay/readable one. Just so you know, it's actually Jacob's version of the last chapter but with a little extra something. I'd love to hear what you think so please feel free to leave a review.**

**Thanks again so much to all my past reviewers! **

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_"See, I'm gonna buy this place and watch it burn; do back the things it did to you in return." _**- Coldplay**

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**_Jacob Black_**

There she was, billowing red, curly hair; a smile to die for; warm brown eyes; pale skin with a touch of pink in her cheeks. There she was. Nessie. My imprint. I loved her. No. What I felt for her was stronger than love. I was chained to her existence. I couldn't live without her. I needed her.

But I also hated her. No. I hated myself for laying eyes on her. I hated how I was so helplessly devoted to her. I hated how I didn't have a choice, that this unnatural love was forced on me.

Leah was right. I was just like the rest of them – Quil, Jared, Sam. The last name was the hardest to admit. I never wanted to be like Sam, except I was. I was worse than Sam. Not only did I break her heart, but I also left her. It disgusted me how I was becoming more like the bloodsucker everyday. That's exactly how _he _left Bella – alone in the forest, sobbing. I sickened myself. I was the true definition of a monster.

Out of the entire time I had spent in Denali, I hadn't stopped thinking about Leah. I asked Edward not to tell anyone about my thoughts, especially Bella or Nessie. I didn't think Bella would be too impressed and I didn't want to make Nessie feel guilty. As much as I hated myself for imprinting, I couldn't deny Nessie of anything. She had me wrapped around her finger. I was her slave. I did everything for her and I was forced to enjoy myself doing it. I couldn't help it.

I was the Earth and Nessie was the Sun. She blinded me with her rays during the day, because after all, love is blind.

But at night when Nessie was asleep and the Sun had set, I could see clearly.

When I looked at the stars I could see _her _face. I always knew she was wild, untamed and a part of the earth, but the stars was the last place I would have thought to see her.

I mean of course I couldn't actually see her, I wasn't going crazy or anything (yet), but I could picture her face so clearly. I could see her smile, her rarely seen, refreshing smile. I could see her white teeth contrasting with her olive skin. I could see her dark, brown eyes that were almost black and her long feather-like eyelashes that decorated them. I could picture her body – the body of a goddess. I could hear her voice as if she was whispering in my ear.

"Jacob." I could remember her sighing my name crystal clear. I loved how she had said my name.

I remembered the times in the short-lived pack we shared. I remembered the times we had ordered pizza and criticised crappy TV shows. I remembered the evenings at First Beach. I remembered the fake fights we used to share. Of course underneath, we both knew everything we said wasn't serious. It was a little game we played. It was our way of bonding. Underneath we both knew that Leah was actually gentle and unbelievably fragile. She had done a pretty classy job of covering that up with all her bitterness. But now, all I could remember was the sweetness in her.

Finally, after Edward had declared us free of the Italian vampire stalker, for now, I had decided it was time.

It was about time too. It had been a year since I had seen her. And it had been at least a week since I had sent the letter. Today was the date I had written on the back of the note, along with the address.

So there I was, standing in the dark alleyway hidden among the slums of Seattle.

There I was – waiting, wishing, wanting.

Waiting to see her perfect face again, wishing I could be the one to make her smile, wanting to pull her into my arms and never let her go.

But I knew I couldn't be the one to make her happy. I knew she was living with Embry now. I knew I had imprinted. I knew I shouldn't even be here right now.

It was a long shot, but I had to try. I had tried living without her and it was hard. Not impossible, but miserable. I would be living a miserably blissful life without her. Forced happiness. I shuddered at the thought. She had to be in my life somehow. I wasn't sure exactly about the 'how' part.

I slid myself down the concrete wall I was leaning against and hit the ground with a thud.

I didn't even know that she would show up. She could have easily refused the offer, and why wouldn't she? I was a jerk – that was a fact. Why would she want to see me after everything that I had done to her? After I had abandoned her along with the rest of my family and friends to run off with vampires. The guilt rose inside me until it was unbearable. But I liked the pain. I deserved the pain. It was a change from the deluded blissfulness I usually drowned myself in.

The sound of light, fast footsteps interrupted my thoughts. I quickly stood up and made my way down the narrow alleyway.

She moved forward into the light and I saw her. My memory hadn't deceived me. She was just as beautiful as I remembered her, maybe even more if that was possible. She had grown her hair longer, so that it framed her face and felt casually at her shoulders. Her face didn't carry any bitterness and she might have even looked slightly scared. Was this even the same girl?

I noticed the exact moment where she recognised my face. All the fear drained out of her features and suddenly she wore a blank expression that bored into my eyes. The guilt was drowning me more at that moment than ever. She didn't say a word, she just kept staring at me, increasing the pain in my stomach.

Nervously I broke the silence. "You came," I stated the obvious in a surprisingly mournful tone. Now was the time that I questioned my motives for even coming in the first place. I figured that I just really wanted to see her. How was I going to explain that to her? She already looked unconvinced and continued to plague her silence.

The more she stared at me, her eyes filled with emptiness, the more space grew between us. I took a step closer to her. "Are you going to say anything Lee?"

She didn't say a word as she moved her gaze to her feet.

I swallowed loudly. "Fine, I guess I'll talk."

My hand was shaking as I gently tilted her chin in the direction of my face.

The single piece of contact was like a shard of a broken dream; so beautiful and fragile and yet so dangerous that it could cut right through you. Much like Leah.

"I've missed you." The words didn't even cover how I felt. I could see her eyes glistening with budding tears. Great, I was going to cause her pain. Again. Since when did I become so sadistic? Sure, I inflicted pain on her but it was impossible for me to enjoy the process. Maybe I was a masochist too – another trait of Edward's. Maybe I should just get some yellow contacts, roll around in chalk and be done with it.

I couldn't bear to see her cry again. "Come on, Lee." I did a crappy job of comforting her. "I would think after all this time you would actually say something?" And truthfully, I did. Okay, so maybe I didn't expect her to sit pining for me all day, but I had hoped she hadn't forgotten me entirely. And hell, for a while I was her alpha and she was my beta! We had a special bond that no one else shared. Now that bond was hanging on by a single string. I was losing her; maybe I had already lost her.

I stared at _her _now, pleadingly. I had no idea what I wanted her to do or say. I just wanted to hear her voice again.

She cleared her throat and looked up at me, apologies shining from her eyes. She only said four words. "I still do, too." She sighed and bit her bottom lip.

While she spoke, I was fighting the urge to grab her, pull her into my arms and kiss her like she's never been kissed. I wanted to pretend that nothing had ever happened and that we were still just Leah and Jacob. No imprints, no packs. Just Leah and Jacob. It was similar to something Bella had said to me a long time ago in La Push. It was weird how much things had changed so dramatically since then.

Then she did something expected. She grasped my hand and pulled it away from her face. She then brought my face down to her level with her other hand and kissed me on the cheek, once. "Goodbye Jacob," were the last words she uttered before leaving me alone in the alley.

I wanted to run after her and stop her. I wanted to tell her how life wasn't complete without her. I wanted to stop and ask her to be with me, somehow. I knew it was impossible, but the more something was forbidden the more you wanted it. I was sure I had heard that somewhere before…

So I didn't stop her. I didn't run after her and plead on my hands and knees. I didn't kiss her like she had never been kissed before. I didn't ask her to runaway with me or something crazy like that, something impossible. I figured out why.

Because I loved her. I knew she was too good for me. I knew she had found someone else, someone who I used to be friends with and who I had also forgotten about, just as Sam had told me. And deep down, I just wanted her to be happy for once. Leah was no longer the pitiful, emotional wreck she used to be. That was my role now. She had finally gotten what she deserved – a normal life. And if Embry could make her happy, truly happy, then who was I to stop her?

Suddenly, an unexpected ripple of anger burst through my veins. My fists started shaking at my sides. My whole body started twitching and I knew I wasn't going to calm down.

I raced through the deserted streets until I reached an opening of trees that led to the forest.

I leapt into the green surroundings and let the ripples of heat overtake my whole body.

My paws hit the ground in an exhilarating pattern. The trees appeared as a blur of brown and green around me. The wind through my fur felt refreshing.

Déjà vu washed over me as I gained further ground, leaving apart of myself behind me.

I returned to my prison of happiness to face her blinding rays yet again.

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End file.
